Seasonal Depression is not my friend. At least I think it's seasonal depression. Maybe it's a post-holiday depression. Or just a general dissatisfaction with life.
It's just that I have made noe progress in anything since I moved home. In fact, I've regressed. Well, ok, the one thing I've accomplished is getting my license. But otherwise, I'm still working a meaningless job. At least when I was in Rochester, I came home from work and I had roommates and friends to play with, and trivia and parties and whatnot to attend. Now I come home and...do nothing, with no one, until I go to sleep, then get up and do it all over again. Well, I hang out with my parents, which is swell, because I love the 'rents, but I can only watch so much HGTV.
I didn't make a New Year's Resolution, because I know better, but I guess you could say that I have recently been trying to turn over a new leaf in taking some time for myself. I've always had a problem not being able to pull myself away from hanging out when people are home. Whether it's my parents here at home, or roommates in the apartment. If someone came home from work, I would come out of my room and hang out in the living room for the rest of the night. I like to be social! The only problem is, if I have any hope of getting anything done, like researching grad programs or writing...anything, I'm going to need to take some time to myself. Not that I've accomplished any writing since I've turned over this leaf, but I feel like this blog is a tiny step in the right direction.
I bought a whole slew of new bras and undies yesterday. Is there anything better, really?
Today's possible future course of study (it changes almost daily): museum studies.
I don't see why it's necessary to start making my own decisions at this point in my life. Why can't someone just decide and tell me what to do? That would be awesome. I need a keeper.
Also, I wish I could be one of those people that can do nothing with their face but wash it and put moisturizer on and have it look perfect. Or better yet, one of those people that does absolutely nothing with their face, sleeps with makeup on, etc, and still have it look perfect. But nope, I get to be the one that obsessively washes my face with specific cleansers, uses specific moisturizers, specific non-comedogenic makeup that i never sleep in, I got to the dermatologist, I don't touch my face, I change my pillowcases regularly, and yet my face looks absolutely awful. I've come to realize that I will never have good skin ever in my life. My acne has been worse since I graduated college than it's ever been, and yet recently I am noticing that I am actually starting to show age in my face, and my dermatologist said I have more wrinkles than 85% of my age group! Whaaaaa?! It's so frustrating, and I wish there was something I could do.
I really support giving yourself some alone time. It is something that I do not do enough, but really do appreciate when I get around to it. Especially since you are trying to do some self-discovery, it is hard to do that when you have established a post-work routine with the people you live with (roommates, parents, whoever).
ReplyDeleteMaybe do some sort of a blog challenge? I don't know much about those, but it is something that people do and it could give you a little productive structure while you are trying to sort out your next academic steps. And it is a bit of writing that helps you strengthen your voice.
NOTHING is better than new underwear and bras, except for really nice socks. I love socks.