1. I just watched the 2002 movie Tuck Everlasting, because I had wanted to see it because I loved the book when I read it in 6th grade, and now that I've sold my soul to Netflix, such things are possible.
2. I went on IMDb immediately following the movie, because that's what I do immediately following every single movie or TV show I watch ever, because I have problems.
3. I IMDb'ed Jonathan Jackson, because he was super adorable as Jesse Tuck. I feel like he may actually be immortal (spoiler alert!), because though the movie was made in 2002, I feel like he's been that same age for, like, 20 years. But I guess he's not. He's just much younger than I would have thought he was.
4. I also had to look up who the hottie was that played Miles, the older son, and I saw it was Scott Bairstow, and I was like, hmmmm...Scott Bairstow, why does this name sound familiar? OH HEY Wild America, cinematic masterpiece of the late nineties co-starring Devon Sawa (Sevon Dawa) and JTT himself! The oft-unappreciated eldest brother Marty, overlooked because he did not cover as many pages of Teen Beat. But still totally adorable. And kinda angsty!hot as Miles. Also, I guess he worked for free in Tuck Everlasting, because he was such a fan and wanted to be in the movie so badly. I respect that.
5. OH HEY AND THEN HE RAPED A 12-YEAR-OLD GIRL WHO WAS POSSIBLY HIS WIFE'S COUSIN. This is real life people, no joke. Why, SB, why. You had so much going for you! If you needed some lady time, I'm sure you could just part your hair down the center in that way that was totally dreamy in the nineties, go out to a bar, remind some ladies who you are, and if they still have no idea, tell them that you were in a movie with Devon Sawa and Jonathan Taylor Thomas and you are IN LIKE FLYNN. You do NOT need to resort to 12-year-olds. Because while I am a jesting proponent of the young ones, 12 is just.....not even funny. That's too young. Gross. Not in any way acceptable. Not going to draw a comparison about how I was 12 when Wild America came out and that if I was as wildly inappropriate then as I am now, I totally would have been down for some Scott Bairstow, but NO I WOULD NOT HAVE BECAUSE I WAS ONLY 12. I would have let him buy me an ice cream.
6. Then I looked Scott Bairstow up on YouTube. Don't. Just...don't. If you were ever a Scott Bairstow fan, and your perception of him has not already been completely demolished by the information above, please do not look him up on YouTube. It's not pretty. Just live in the past, when the nineties were wonderful and boys were dreamy and times were sweet and innocent.
Also, for anyone who's read Tuck Everlasting and/or seen the movie, am I the first to realize that there is a LOT of Twilight similarities? And really, THIS is how Twilight should have ended. No Renesmees in Tuck Everlasting. Thank god.
ALSO, who remembers when Devon Sawa was in Eminem's video for Stan, playing Stan, and Dido was his preggers wife?! THAT is so fantastic. And yes, I am now on a dangerously slippery slope of youtube-ing nineties stars. Stop judging me.
GAHHHH SEVEN DAWA. 'nuff said.
ReplyDeleteOkay, not really 'nuff said. Seven is way dreamier than JTT.
Remember when your walls were plastered with the most attractive faces of the nineties? Better yet, when mine were plastered with 5 shades of N'SYNC and you tacked up that poster and claimed 'artistic inspiration'? And then to spite you I kept it that way for YEARS?
Awww I miss us circa 2002.
This is another post where I am completely lost for most of it. However, I did see Tuck Everlasting - Rory Gilmore. Aaaand that's about all I remember.
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