Welp, missed the first few moments, because the Idol elimination was happening. Priorities.
Uh oh, bad news. Out-of-body experiences are not so good. Usually.
OH GOD THE SINGING IS HAPPENING ALREADY
Nope....was that just a preview? And was that the former theme song? I do believe so. I miss the theme song, and the kinky opening sequence. You know what? Why didn't ER ever do a musical episode? Oh wait, because that show wasn't a joke.
I hope the Chief and McSteamy sing Puttin On The Ritz, a la Young Frankenstein.
I hope Callie dies. Because I like her, and she is now better than this show. Oh god, she's singing Chasing Cars. Which is maybe not appropriate? Well, appropriate, but not tactful: "Haha, Callie was Chasing Cars, and then one stopped shirt, and she went through the windshield! THAT'LL TEACH HER TO CHASE CARS!" Chasing Cars: The Sequel. Listen, Sara Ramirez, you are a TONY AWARD WINNER! Why the fuck are you singing pop songs in a musical episode of awfulness?
Oh god, now Dr. Hunt is singing. I cannot handle this. It's only just started, and already it's so fucking ridiculous.
Who the fuck is Lucy....Lucy Knight from ER? RIP, RIP. Talk about intense episode, sheesh. Amirite? Oh wait, no one but me ever watched ER. And yet everyone watches Grey's. Just doesn't seem fair...
Hey, Owen's got a pretty bitchin voice. And he and Callie are kind of hot singing together. Good on that. Who needs Arizona and Cristina?
Oh god, Bailey....not you too.
You know what this is doing? Taking a serious episode/situation and making it ridiculous and silly. They might as well have had George's unrecognizable almost-corpse sing "007" after he got hit by a bus. Oooof....even that comment is "too soon" for me.
This is not even a good arrangement. It's SO cheesy!
Hey, you know when this exact plotline was done better? On Scrubs. Which was appropriate, because Scrubs was the perfect mix of comedy and drama. Primarily comedy, with some heart-wrenching or heart-warming moments mixed in. A musical episode worked for that show. Grey's? Not so much.
And you know what I love? And by "love", I of course mean, "think is so dumb"? That they are singing songs that have previously appeared on Grey's. Like, really? You couldn't afford to get the rights to some new songs?
Oh Jesus, Little Grey. You are NOT better than this, but I still wish I didn't have to hear it. And she's....not actually good. This is like Joey Potter singing "On My Own" all over again. My ears are bleeding worse than Callie's internal organs. BURN!
Well thank god you took your hair down, Little Grey, that's MUCH more dramatic and romantic. Which is what's really important at this moment.
You know who WON'T sing in this episode, because he is, in fact, better than this, and probably thinks this whole thing is ridiculous? Alex Karev, aka Justin Chambers. He probably can't actually sing, but wouldn't it be just precious to see him try? I am comparing this to all other musical episodes of shows ever, and I'm trying to decide if he would be more of a Spike or a Xander, in terms of musical episode performance. I feel like they would want him to be a Spike, because that's more character appropriate, but I think he would definitely be more of a Xander, because he's adorable.
Awww, Dr. Sloane, you are so foxy even when you cry. Only because I will always remember what you looked like coming out of Addison's bathroom in just a strategically-placed towel. I miss those days.
Alex, thank you for taking an interest in Arizona's well-being. Way to be a good doctor, and not a prima donna. Ugh Alex, you are just so awesome. Unlike your new boning buddy, who is a bitch and sucks.
YAYY I love when Addison comes back! This new chick is awful. I haven't really watched much this season, but she seems mean and bad at doctoring. I wish she and Alex weren't together in a biblical sense.
Were Addison and Callie even on Grey's at the same time? I don't remember them interacting at all. But I forget really when people came and went. And I don't really care enough to research it.
CAAAAAAAAAALM DOWN! GEEEEEET STRAIGHT! Hahahaha, this is hilarious. But really, Owen, you are really impressing me here. You know what? Owen is the Spike!
You know who won't sing? Any of the people in this scene. Cristina, Alex, and Meredith. Remember when Meredith used to be unbearable? Then she had a baby in real life, and that somehow made her character more bearable. And speaking of whatsername having a baby in real life, she looks so much better ever since she put on a few baby pounds! Her face is a little rounder, and she looks prettier and happier. Good for her.
I was JUST going to say Seattle Grace is The Death Palace, and then Alex beat me to it. What a wise, wise man. Great minds think alike, and should probably sleep together. Really though, how many doctors have died/ been seriously injured/ ill? So many. RIP George, I still miss you.
Hey, how does Mark have ANY say over what is done to Callie? They aren't even dating. He's the one that has some claim to the baby, yet he's the one that wants the baby dead, and Arizona, who didn't even want a kid, is fighting to save it. But I guess Arizona doesn't have any say in Callie's life either, because they're not even married. Which then opens up a pandora's box of legal question marks and political crap, but that's a different story for a different day. Basically, neither Arizona or Mark have any say. So Callie might as well just die already.
Oooooo, Mark, you can be the father of my child. Except that you're kind of being a dick right now. I like Arizona, be nice. Although I liked it much better when Arizona was ridiculously quirky and silly and cheerful and weird. Now she's kind of unhappy all the time, just like everyone else on this show.
Flashback! I love flashbacks. Though I wish this were an inexplicable 80s flashback. With dancing and bright colors.
WHAT the hell is this song? I don't even know these songs, unless they're by the Fray or Snow Patrol. Or whatever. Apparently a lot of the songs that have previously been featured on Grey's actually suck. They are not good enough to carry over and still be good when sung by people other than the original artist.
OWEN! HOT DAMN! I am in love with you in this episode. Especially with how naked and sexytime-y you are being right now! Good for you for multitasking. Oh, and I guess Cristina is singing. What the hell do I know. She and Burke never would have sung together.
OMG Noel is singing! Noel Crane from Felicity! How cute are you, buddy?! I still don't know why you're even on this show, but I don't question it, because you're always adorable, and I still kinda feel bad for you ever since Jennifer Garner left you for the adorable Michael Vartan, who she then left for the Most Adorable Ben Affleck. I think we can all agree she made the right choice. But still, Noel, I love ya.
OMG KAREV IS SINGING! ALEX KAREV IS SINGING! AND IT IS ADORABLE! HE IS SUCH A XANDER. Ugh, that was great and kinda hot and unnecessary.
There is lots of hotness happening right now. Which does not really seem appropriate, considering Callie and her baby are on the brink of death. But, you know, do what you gotta do, I guess.
Well, what do I know, every damn person is singing. But not Derek yet. He's still respectable.
OOOOOOOH MY GOD when McDreamy first appeared I thought it was going to be George, Sweet Baby Jesus I thought it was going to be George. I wish it were George. Nothing would be more appropos right now than a Callie and George beyond-the-grave duet. But disregarding they were ever husband and wife (ew.), and pretending they were only ever just friends, because I loved them as friends.
Well, looks like Cristina got her clothes back on in a jif! What a professional. She really should have thought about how marrying Owen would affect her career. Bet she regrets some life choices right about now.
Arizona, Mark is ALSO legally no one! Unless he has an actual legal claim over the baby, because he planted the seed. Which makes me think of the masturbatory emissions scene in Legally Blonde. Anyway, I don't really understand how the law works, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Sara Ramirez, you are too good for this. I will say that again. I still don't know any of these songs that have apparently appeared on Grey's before, and I wish you weren't singing them. It saddens me. What will this do to your career, Sara? Also, Sara, I want you to know that I am saying this all out loud, because I love that you use the ethnically-fabulous pronunciation of "SA-da", which really goes well with Ramirez.
Addison and Mark, why don't you sleep together for old times sake? C'mon, do it for me. Because McSteamy is...McSteamy, and I have a MAJOR girl crush on Addison. She's a babe.
Why does Callie have a mom haircut already? Remember when she used to be such a hottie, dancing around in her underwear when she lived in the basement of the hospital? I miss those days.
Hey commercial break! This Happy Endings show looks GREAT! Cute guy from Flash Forward is on it! Look at all the Flash Forward stars getting romantic comedies since FF was canceled! And look at some of those romantic comedies already being canceled. Sad. But you know what? Keep 'em coming, because i feel there are just not enough sitcoms nowadays! To many hour-long dramas! Although I would really prefer hour-long sitcoms. The prevalence of hour-long dramas makes any half-hour sitcoms seem too short now. But remember when Friends was on? That never seemed as short as sitcoms do now! I remember ER used to seem soooo long, because it was an hour!
Anyway, back to Seattle Grace Death Palace, and lots of slow-mo running inside Callie's mind. I don't think there is nearly that much slow-mo running inside my head. But let's be real, there is nothing even related to running going on inside my head.
Good thing everyone's hair is perfect during this traumatic time. Whoops, except for Callie's, because now she has no hair. Sucks to be you. But hey, at least you got rid of that wretched mom haircut.
Has a whole day passed already? Huh. Only seems like 45 minutes.
You know who could probably handle this situation? Dr. Burke. Too bad he was a big ol' bigot. Well, not Burke himself. Just whoshisface that played him. Why is Cristina operating instead of Pointy Face? Did I miss something? I love Owen, but WHY is he singing the Fray? I love that McDreamy is silent in the midst of all this musical crap-throwing. Thank you, McDreamy. Just keeping doing your job. Being a doctor.
Ooooo, Pointy Face also sounds awful. Hope that's her only solo. See, this is why they should not make everyone sing in a musical episode. It's just embarrassing for some people. And in this case, by some people, I mean everyone.
No, wait, Sloane is the Spike. I cannot wait to watch this again with my mom. She'll just love it.
Little Grey, why are you here? You are so unnecessary. Why are you still on this show?
Everyone looks so silly with their mouths moving behind their masks.
Is this Callie's swan song? Literally? Well, I guess not literally, because she's not a swan. But really, is she dying? Hey dead baby! Well, maybe not dead. Yet. Tiny. Mark and Arizona, you're not supposed to beeeee here! Holy Jesus tiny baby! It looks like a Barbie! Everyone is alive and crying! Huzzah!
Commercial breeeeeak. Casey whoserfuck is in that happy endings show too! Casey Wilson! Awesome. Awesome. Loved her, miss her on SNL, like that she's sorta chubby, like that she's threatening to "physically fight" someone in the commercial.
Meredith, this is not the appropriate time to be jealous of Callie. What the hell IS going on, Meredith? The universe is screwed up, because America is stuck watching this awful show, and yet we cannot look away! Derek will make sure you have a baby, even if he has to steal it!
Ugh, I forget Callie's name is Calliope. Awful. And cheesy. Callie stop touching your own face, it's creepy. And stop saying "STUH-ries", it's annoying. And now Callie Torres has turned into Rachel Berry. How have I not made a Glee reference yet? Well, there we are.
Who is Callie singing to? Arizona? Mark? Her baby? Herself? So confusing. This is a great song, I wish this weren't happening to it now.
Hey, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Naked Guy, with the pretty eyes and the pretty everything, I wish you were singing. Also, you can do MUCH better than Little Grey. Why does she get all the hot guys when she is so awful?! I wish she had gotten shot in the big shooting rampage. Which, really, why didn't they just make that a musical episode? That would have been just about as fitting as this one.
Whoa there Callie, you're gonna break the bed! Calm down. You were made for yourself? Good for you? This is so creepy. Stop bringing yourself back to life through the power of song.
Well, I hope the Grey's Anatomy Big Gay Wedding happens on October 16th.
What is Meredith stealing next week, a baby in an envelope? Is that Callie's tiny baby in an envelope? Too soon for tiny baby jokes?
And to bring the ER reference full circle, Dr. Corday is on Private Practice. Having gross sex with a gross old guy. Gross. This is where I end this.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Today in "Things That Will Interest Colleen and No One Else"
...except possibly Leah.
Celine Dion is fucking awesome.
Watch it though, it's funny. Sorta.
Happy birthday you crazy, crazy canuck.
If we were on gift-giving terms, I would give you a big straw hat with a sunflower on it.
Celine Dion is fucking awesome.
Watch it though, it's funny. Sorta.
Happy birthday you crazy, crazy canuck.
If we were on gift-giving terms, I would give you a big straw hat with a sunflower on it.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Full of Useful Information
You know what takes more discipline than I have? Dieting.
I got a bunch of healthy diet food before my parents left on their cruise, figuring that if I was only focusing on feeding myself, I would easily be able to stick to the diet.
No. It's like my heart's just not in it. I haven't really taken the time to plan out what I'm going to eat, and figure out what is and is not included in the diet. Usually, when I start a diet, I start all gung-ho, but I'm feeling very meh and non-committal at this point. It's not that I hate the diet, it's just that when it comes time for food, I just don't have the energy to prepare specific diet foods. Also, I'm snacky. It's my biggest weakness. I wish food weren't so delicious.
I've done this diet before, it's called the Flat Belly Diet. I did it last year for like a week until I ran out of food and big SHOCK couldn't get to the store, so I had to start eating whatever crap was in the house again. I'm no expert on diets, but of those that I've tried, this one is the best. Reasonable portion sizes, tasty food, most yummy foods allowed, and a particular emphasis on some foods I happen to love: chocolate, avocados, and olives! It's not really much of a lifestyle change, like so many other diets are. I lost 7 lbs doing it for a week last year, and lord knows I could use some belly-flattening right about now.
That said, I am slowly working my way through a box of raisins right now, trying to pretend they're covered in chocolate.
In completely different news, you guys need to go to Old Navy and buy some t-shirts. I bought a couple a few weeks ago, and they are so effing comfortable. They're just plain v-necks, but they are wonderful. And they had a whole display of v-necks, scoop-necks, crew-necks (I initially said crew-cuts...wrong.), etc. and they are presumably all the same comfy material. They were $8.50, and if I recall correctly, 2 for $15. I know this is excessive promoting, but I love you guys, and I love cute comfy clothes. I would like to bring these 2 things together.
I feel like I should be accomplishing so much more while I'm here on my own. But I'm not. Well, I have actually done a lot of organizing, and I've painted an entire room as a surprise for my parents. But I guess I just thought I would have accomplished more. Then again, I'm not even halfway through my week of freedom, so I guess I should chill out.
***We interrupt your regular scheduled programming to say WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL THE RAISINS STUCK TO THE BOTTOM OF THE BOX?! Why make a food that tastes mediocre at best so difficult for me to eat with my giant sausage fingers?***
Anyway, let's play This Week In Songs I Fantasize About Singing on American Idol. True confession: there's a long list. Not even of particularly great songs. But I have created entire scenarios around these songs, including made-up characteristics about American Idol Contestant Colleen (aside from an ability to sing) that make my song choices especially poignant. Also, sometimes these songs are duets, established around a romantic subplot I've decided really needs to exist on Idol, because seriously, that many attractive and talented people could not be living together, now for a 10th season, and not ever have had anyone bang. Aside from the trashy Hollywood Week hot-tub flirtations that almost always make people sleep late and miss their group performance, there have been NO HOOKUPS WHATSOEVER! Not even hinted at! And don't you think The Powers That Be would be ALL OVER planting imaginary romantic entanglements to make the show more interesting? It is reality TV, after all. But no. Nothing. Fanfiction can only do so much, people. ANYWAY, things are different in my fantasy world. Because really, what is more perfectly my dream, than being a contestant on American Idol, and falling in love WITH ANOTHER CONTESTANT?! That'd get me a People Magazine cover, fo sho.
So aaaaaaaanyway, while listening to the best hits of the 80s 90s and today on Y94FM yesterday, I heard "Why Don't You Stay" by....I think Bob Seger. And god damn if that wouldn't just make a fantastic Idol song. Why, you ask? Let me tell you. Imagine it's the final weeks of Idol, and two contestants, be they secretly pining for one another, or just super close friends after all their backstage bonding in the mansion, sing a duet of "Why Don't You Stay". Sample lyrics: "We've got tonight, who needs tomorrow/ We've got tonight babe, why don't you stay" Reading between the lines: "We've got tonight [This is so great! We're on TV! With JLo! We live in a mansion! Everything is awesome!], who needs tomorrow [Fuck elimination night, WE'RE CELEBRITIES! We're gonna live forever like the kids from Fame!]/ We've got tonight babe, why don't you stay [how about you NOT get voted off, so that we can throw a huge rave in the mansion this weekend?]" Because if I were on Idol, my song choices would be lousy with clever secret messages. Because I would be the greatest Idol contestant of all time. I've worked it out to a science. If only I can find a lovesick mermaid whose beautiful singing voice I can steal.
In other news, I hate to sound straight outta 2006 here, but the lead singer of Panic! At The Disco is really attractive.
***Hahahaha raisins, I showed you, I opened the OTHER END of the box. Don't you feel foolish!***
In other news, Jhole, I really needed you on Friday when I had to watch a customer service training video, and I desperately needed someone there to say "They're gonna do it!", because there were two people who were soooo obviously gonna do it, right there in their fake breakroom, but THERE WAS NO ONE! Do you think maybe that you could create some sort of pocket device, that when the need arises, one could just push a button, and some melodious Jhole tones would say, "They're gonna do it!"? Work on that.
I think I've lost my mind at this point. It's the raisins.
I got a bunch of healthy diet food before my parents left on their cruise, figuring that if I was only focusing on feeding myself, I would easily be able to stick to the diet.
No. It's like my heart's just not in it. I haven't really taken the time to plan out what I'm going to eat, and figure out what is and is not included in the diet. Usually, when I start a diet, I start all gung-ho, but I'm feeling very meh and non-committal at this point. It's not that I hate the diet, it's just that when it comes time for food, I just don't have the energy to prepare specific diet foods. Also, I'm snacky. It's my biggest weakness. I wish food weren't so delicious.
I've done this diet before, it's called the Flat Belly Diet. I did it last year for like a week until I ran out of food and big SHOCK couldn't get to the store, so I had to start eating whatever crap was in the house again. I'm no expert on diets, but of those that I've tried, this one is the best. Reasonable portion sizes, tasty food, most yummy foods allowed, and a particular emphasis on some foods I happen to love: chocolate, avocados, and olives! It's not really much of a lifestyle change, like so many other diets are. I lost 7 lbs doing it for a week last year, and lord knows I could use some belly-flattening right about now.
That said, I am slowly working my way through a box of raisins right now, trying to pretend they're covered in chocolate.
In completely different news, you guys need to go to Old Navy and buy some t-shirts. I bought a couple a few weeks ago, and they are so effing comfortable. They're just plain v-necks, but they are wonderful. And they had a whole display of v-necks, scoop-necks, crew-necks (I initially said crew-cuts...wrong.), etc. and they are presumably all the same comfy material. They were $8.50, and if I recall correctly, 2 for $15. I know this is excessive promoting, but I love you guys, and I love cute comfy clothes. I would like to bring these 2 things together.
I feel like I should be accomplishing so much more while I'm here on my own. But I'm not. Well, I have actually done a lot of organizing, and I've painted an entire room as a surprise for my parents. But I guess I just thought I would have accomplished more. Then again, I'm not even halfway through my week of freedom, so I guess I should chill out.
***We interrupt your regular scheduled programming to say WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL THE RAISINS STUCK TO THE BOTTOM OF THE BOX?! Why make a food that tastes mediocre at best so difficult for me to eat with my giant sausage fingers?***
Anyway, let's play This Week In Songs I Fantasize About Singing on American Idol. True confession: there's a long list. Not even of particularly great songs. But I have created entire scenarios around these songs, including made-up characteristics about American Idol Contestant Colleen (aside from an ability to sing) that make my song choices especially poignant. Also, sometimes these songs are duets, established around a romantic subplot I've decided really needs to exist on Idol, because seriously, that many attractive and talented people could not be living together, now for a 10th season, and not ever have had anyone bang. Aside from the trashy Hollywood Week hot-tub flirtations that almost always make people sleep late and miss their group performance, there have been NO HOOKUPS WHATSOEVER! Not even hinted at! And don't you think The Powers That Be would be ALL OVER planting imaginary romantic entanglements to make the show more interesting? It is reality TV, after all. But no. Nothing. Fanfiction can only do so much, people. ANYWAY, things are different in my fantasy world. Because really, what is more perfectly my dream, than being a contestant on American Idol, and falling in love WITH ANOTHER CONTESTANT?! That'd get me a People Magazine cover, fo sho.
So aaaaaaaanyway, while listening to the best hits of the 80s 90s and today on Y94FM yesterday, I heard "Why Don't You Stay" by....I think Bob Seger. And god damn if that wouldn't just make a fantastic Idol song. Why, you ask? Let me tell you. Imagine it's the final weeks of Idol, and two contestants, be they secretly pining for one another, or just super close friends after all their backstage bonding in the mansion, sing a duet of "Why Don't You Stay". Sample lyrics: "We've got tonight, who needs tomorrow/ We've got tonight babe, why don't you stay" Reading between the lines: "We've got tonight [This is so great! We're on TV! With JLo! We live in a mansion! Everything is awesome!], who needs tomorrow [Fuck elimination night, WE'RE CELEBRITIES! We're gonna live forever like the kids from Fame!]/ We've got tonight babe, why don't you stay [how about you NOT get voted off, so that we can throw a huge rave in the mansion this weekend?]" Because if I were on Idol, my song choices would be lousy with clever secret messages. Because I would be the greatest Idol contestant of all time. I've worked it out to a science. If only I can find a lovesick mermaid whose beautiful singing voice I can steal.
In other news, I hate to sound straight outta 2006 here, but the lead singer of Panic! At The Disco is really attractive.
***Hahahaha raisins, I showed you, I opened the OTHER END of the box. Don't you feel foolish!***
In other news, Jhole, I really needed you on Friday when I had to watch a customer service training video, and I desperately needed someone there to say "They're gonna do it!", because there were two people who were soooo obviously gonna do it, right there in their fake breakroom, but THERE WAS NO ONE! Do you think maybe that you could create some sort of pocket device, that when the need arises, one could just push a button, and some melodious Jhole tones would say, "They're gonna do it!"? Work on that.
I think I've lost my mind at this point. It's the raisins.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
March Madness!
I hope you guys have been keeping up with your brackets! And I don't mean shitty basketball, because really, who cares....I mean these two very important brackets:
March Boyband Madness
March Sadness
In unrelated news, several of you will be proud to know that I have taken to not wearing a bra to bed. It's been a difficult transition, as I would be happy to just wear a bra at all times, because I am very fond of undergarments. BUT due to constant ridicule and mockery, I am have been letting the girls loose afterhours. I can't say it's been life-changing, I sleep soundly either way. However, I find that not wearing a bra at night has made my bra feel more uncomfortable DURING THE DAY, which makes no sense but makes me want to start sleeping with a bra on again. So, we'll see how long this lasts.
March Boyband Madness
March Sadness
In unrelated news, several of you will be proud to know that I have taken to not wearing a bra to bed. It's been a difficult transition, as I would be happy to just wear a bra at all times, because I am very fond of undergarments. BUT due to constant ridicule and mockery, I am have been letting the girls loose afterhours. I can't say it's been life-changing, I sleep soundly either way. However, I find that not wearing a bra at night has made my bra feel more uncomfortable DURING THE DAY, which makes no sense but makes me want to start sleeping with a bra on again. So, we'll see how long this lasts.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Ireland: the country of whisky and love
Today was kind of a sad day for me.
St. Paddy's Day has always been one of my favorite days. I know this comes as a shock to all of you. Really. But it's the one day of the year where it's actually cool to be Irish, and unlike every other cool thing that I pretend to be a part of but actually am not, I am actually super Irish! I like how everyone expects me to be just balls-to-the-wall crazy on this day, and I love living up to it.
All through grade school, my mom whored me out in my green finest. It was my thing. We had corned beef and cabbage for dinner every year, and it was delicious.
It took me longer to get into the booze-aholic version of St Paddy's, because it took me awhile to get into the drinking thing.
I actually do not remember the St. Paddy's of either of the years I was at Wagner. I feel like I probably should, but I do not. Somehow I've managed to forget a zillion things that happened in those 2 years.
Junior year at Fisher, I greened it out and went to a party, but if I recall correctly, I was sick or something, so I did not have mucho fun.
Senior year. I started drinking as soon as I got out of class. Spent the whole evening in the quad, drinking with the girls, and Mark Waldron and his rubber face. It was greeeeeat.
Although I was drinking, like, hard iced tea, which is questionable in and of itself.
My first year living in Rochester, Jhole and I were so poor. When St. Paddy's rolled around, I was sort-of-employed-but-not-actually-working-at an irish pub, and would actually go on to get my first real job the next week. Soooo I had the whole day free for festivities.
I started my day by going with Chris Fanning to Geneva for an Irish lunch and green beer with his dad. Delightful.
It should also be noted that this was during a time when I was....uh....connecting with my Irish roots, and became sooooort of obsessed with a little group called Celtic Thunder, which is not actually a bunch of Irish Chippendale dancers, but is in fact a musical group. I don't really have a defense for this, other than to say that I love men with accents. And there was a particular boy in the group, named Keith, who is cute as a button and speaks with an almost unintelligable Derry accent, and has a birthday 2 days after mine, which, it must be said that there's nothing a gemini loves more than ANOTHER GEMINI!
ANYWHO, so my dear friend Heather, who actually GOT me into Celtic Thunder, because she and her mom were even more into it, was that very day attending the St. Paddy's Day parade in NYC, because Celtic Thunder was performing. She was there with a group of Celtic Thunder fans, and the guys ended up actually coming over to meet them. So I am at Chris's, when my phone rings, and it's Heather, so I pick it up and I hear "[garble garble garble] my friend Colleen?" followed by "Hullo Colleen!" from the adorable Irish boy's mouth! I, thinking she was holding the phone out to him at a distance that he couldn't actually hear me, made some sort of enthusiastic squawk, which I imagine was quite unpleasant, considering he had actually taken her phone and was holding it up to his ear. Just another example of me embarrassing myself in the presence of pseudo-celebrities (see also: JC Chasez.)
Anyway, this was a very special St. Paddy's Day, because not only was it the most Irish of days, but it was also Jenna Bellucci's 21st birthday. Imagine, if you will, that situation. The drinking that ensued. The evening was spent at The Colony, the bar down the street. It was also, by some karmic magnificence, karaoke night. Throughout the night, Jenna did the following:
1. Went around the bar telling everyone EVERYONE that it was her birthday. Some people gave her stickers.
2. Did a somersault, at the end of the night, across the bar floor. Gross.
3. Got up in front of everyone in the crowded bar, took the mic from the karaoke guy, and made a big speech thanking everyone IN THE ENTIRE BAR for coming out for her birthday. One of the funniest things I have ever witnessed.
Then she woke up the next morning, feeling fine and dandy, while Chris Fanning and I barely woke up.
That weekend, Jenna, Amanda, and I continued the birthday celebration in Syracuse, specifically Tipp Hill. We had so much silly fun, including eating tacos in Amanda's kitchen at 2 am, and me making tactless yet timely Natasha Richardson jokes.
Last year was much more of the same, except with slightly less birthday fun, as it was not a milestone b-day for J Booch. Also, I had to work all day. And in an exercise in poor planning, I had to work the next day as well. Which turned out to be unfortunate, because I got more drunk that night than I have ever ever gotten in my life. I don't really remember much of the night, though I imagine it was magical. I do remember waking up in the middle of the night to puke in my trashcan, only to find out when I woke up the next morning that I had completely misjudged the location of the trashcan and had actually projectile vomited all over my bedroom floor. I think I was probably more ashamed of this situation than I have ever been in my life. Especially because I did not have enough time before I left for work to completely finish cleaning it up, so my room smelled like vomit all day. It should also be said that while getting ready in the morning, I was still drunk. Being drunk turned into being hungover while I was on the bus to work. Which, as you can imagine, is not the best place to feel hungover. I sat with my purse open in my lap in case I needed to vomit into it. I was lucky that day, because the phones were not busy, and best of all, my boss did not come in until halfway through the day. So I sat at my desk and slept off my hangover for 2 hours. Better yet, I had a work-related dinner to go to that night, which I still felt like crap for. Fun times. I didn't drink for....months afterward.
So much fun, so many years in a row!
This year, I wore a green shirt. That was the extent of it. I worked late. I came home to an empty house, because my parents were at a St Paddy's Day celebration in Oswego. I called my sister, but she was on her way out. I had pickle dip and Mountain Dew for dinner, because they're kind of green. I don't want to sound like a big moper, because I've done SO much moping in this blog, which I intended to be full of hilarity. But there are certain days where I'm just really sad to not be in Rochester anymore. I feel like everything's happening and I'm missing it. Today was one of those days, big time. I know this was my decision; I've made my bed and now I've got to lie in it, but it's just hard sometimes.
However, writing about the great March 17ths of yore have brought a smile to my face and to my heart.
Much the way this does: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbuRA_D3KU
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!
St. Paddy's Day has always been one of my favorite days. I know this comes as a shock to all of you. Really. But it's the one day of the year where it's actually cool to be Irish, and unlike every other cool thing that I pretend to be a part of but actually am not, I am actually super Irish! I like how everyone expects me to be just balls-to-the-wall crazy on this day, and I love living up to it.
All through grade school, my mom whored me out in my green finest. It was my thing. We had corned beef and cabbage for dinner every year, and it was delicious.
It took me longer to get into the booze-aholic version of St Paddy's, because it took me awhile to get into the drinking thing.
I actually do not remember the St. Paddy's of either of the years I was at Wagner. I feel like I probably should, but I do not. Somehow I've managed to forget a zillion things that happened in those 2 years.
Junior year at Fisher, I greened it out and went to a party, but if I recall correctly, I was sick or something, so I did not have mucho fun.
Senior year. I started drinking as soon as I got out of class. Spent the whole evening in the quad, drinking with the girls, and Mark Waldron and his rubber face. It was greeeeeat.
Although I was drinking, like, hard iced tea, which is questionable in and of itself.
My first year living in Rochester, Jhole and I were so poor. When St. Paddy's rolled around, I was sort-of-employed-but-not-actually-working-at an irish pub, and would actually go on to get my first real job the next week. Soooo I had the whole day free for festivities.
I started my day by going with Chris Fanning to Geneva for an Irish lunch and green beer with his dad. Delightful.
It should also be noted that this was during a time when I was....uh....connecting with my Irish roots, and became sooooort of obsessed with a little group called Celtic Thunder, which is not actually a bunch of Irish Chippendale dancers, but is in fact a musical group. I don't really have a defense for this, other than to say that I love men with accents. And there was a particular boy in the group, named Keith, who is cute as a button and speaks with an almost unintelligable Derry accent, and has a birthday 2 days after mine, which, it must be said that there's nothing a gemini loves more than ANOTHER GEMINI!
ANYWHO, so my dear friend Heather, who actually GOT me into Celtic Thunder, because she and her mom were even more into it, was that very day attending the St. Paddy's Day parade in NYC, because Celtic Thunder was performing. She was there with a group of Celtic Thunder fans, and the guys ended up actually coming over to meet them. So I am at Chris's, when my phone rings, and it's Heather, so I pick it up and I hear "[garble garble garble] my friend Colleen?" followed by "Hullo Colleen!" from the adorable Irish boy's mouth! I, thinking she was holding the phone out to him at a distance that he couldn't actually hear me, made some sort of enthusiastic squawk, which I imagine was quite unpleasant, considering he had actually taken her phone and was holding it up to his ear. Just another example of me embarrassing myself in the presence of pseudo-celebrities (see also: JC Chasez.)
Anyway, this was a very special St. Paddy's Day, because not only was it the most Irish of days, but it was also Jenna Bellucci's 21st birthday. Imagine, if you will, that situation. The drinking that ensued. The evening was spent at The Colony, the bar down the street. It was also, by some karmic magnificence, karaoke night. Throughout the night, Jenna did the following:
1. Went around the bar telling everyone EVERYONE that it was her birthday. Some people gave her stickers.
2. Did a somersault, at the end of the night, across the bar floor. Gross.
3. Got up in front of everyone in the crowded bar, took the mic from the karaoke guy, and made a big speech thanking everyone IN THE ENTIRE BAR for coming out for her birthday. One of the funniest things I have ever witnessed.
Then she woke up the next morning, feeling fine and dandy, while Chris Fanning and I barely woke up.
That weekend, Jenna, Amanda, and I continued the birthday celebration in Syracuse, specifically Tipp Hill. We had so much silly fun, including eating tacos in Amanda's kitchen at 2 am, and me making tactless yet timely Natasha Richardson jokes.
Last year was much more of the same, except with slightly less birthday fun, as it was not a milestone b-day for J Booch. Also, I had to work all day. And in an exercise in poor planning, I had to work the next day as well. Which turned out to be unfortunate, because I got more drunk that night than I have ever ever gotten in my life. I don't really remember much of the night, though I imagine it was magical. I do remember waking up in the middle of the night to puke in my trashcan, only to find out when I woke up the next morning that I had completely misjudged the location of the trashcan and had actually projectile vomited all over my bedroom floor. I think I was probably more ashamed of this situation than I have ever been in my life. Especially because I did not have enough time before I left for work to completely finish cleaning it up, so my room smelled like vomit all day. It should also be said that while getting ready in the morning, I was still drunk. Being drunk turned into being hungover while I was on the bus to work. Which, as you can imagine, is not the best place to feel hungover. I sat with my purse open in my lap in case I needed to vomit into it. I was lucky that day, because the phones were not busy, and best of all, my boss did not come in until halfway through the day. So I sat at my desk and slept off my hangover for 2 hours. Better yet, I had a work-related dinner to go to that night, which I still felt like crap for. Fun times. I didn't drink for....months afterward.
So much fun, so many years in a row!
This year, I wore a green shirt. That was the extent of it. I worked late. I came home to an empty house, because my parents were at a St Paddy's Day celebration in Oswego. I called my sister, but she was on her way out. I had pickle dip and Mountain Dew for dinner, because they're kind of green. I don't want to sound like a big moper, because I've done SO much moping in this blog, which I intended to be full of hilarity. But there are certain days where I'm just really sad to not be in Rochester anymore. I feel like everything's happening and I'm missing it. Today was one of those days, big time. I know this was my decision; I've made my bed and now I've got to lie in it, but it's just hard sometimes.
However, writing about the great March 17ths of yore have brought a smile to my face and to my heart.
Much the way this does: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbuRA_D3KU
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Legen-WAIT FOR IT-dary
Guys, I've really gotten into watching How I Met Your Mother lately. For the longest time, it's been one of those shows I kind of enjoyed whenever I caught it, but I never really got into watching it regularly. Well, now I'm pretty much obsessed with it, which is convenient, because there's pretty much an episode playing somewhere on some channel at any given time. So, aces.
But really. Now, I'm going to make a bold statement here, but I think HIMYM may be the Friends of this decade. It's not nearly as good as Friends, because nothing is, but I think it's the first sitcom to really work the same dynamic friends had, and it's consistently funny.
Anyway, in related news, I just made the discovery today that when I saw The Graduate on broadway when I was in high school, the guy I saw understudy for Jason Biggs' lead role was JOSH RADNOR! Aka Ted Moseby! Madness. I don't really remember anything of his performance, other than thinking that he was cute. I should've gotten his autograph after the show, but I was too busy losing my mind over seeing Cher Horowitz and Chandler's dad (aka Alicia Silverstone and Kathleen Turner) in person.
In more related news, today I saw the trailor for Happythankyoumoreplease, which is an actual movie title of the actual movie that Josh Radnor wrote, directed, and stars in. It looks good, and I guess it won some sort of Sundance prize? Good for him.
In unrelated and unfortunate news, I have had two songs CONSTANTLY stuck in my head today: For The First Time by The Script, and What The Hell by Avril Lavigne. Awful. Well, the Avril song is admittedly kind of catchy, but I feel like she needs a new gimmick. The Script is just UGH sooo blah. Like, who LOVES The Script? It's like saying "Oh I just LOVE Matchbox 20!" Which, I feel like comparing the two is even an insult to Matchbox 20. But I am indifferent to the point of anger about The Script. Which, I realize, is not indifference. It's just that their songs are okay, but they are played ALL THE TIME! I don't even listen to the radio/watch music videos all that much, and even I feel bombarded. Stop bombarding me, The Script. Also, stop being from Ireland, because hating you makes me feel like I'm betraying the motherland.
Seacrest out.
But really. Now, I'm going to make a bold statement here, but I think HIMYM may be the Friends of this decade. It's not nearly as good as Friends, because nothing is, but I think it's the first sitcom to really work the same dynamic friends had, and it's consistently funny.
Anyway, in related news, I just made the discovery today that when I saw The Graduate on broadway when I was in high school, the guy I saw understudy for Jason Biggs' lead role was JOSH RADNOR! Aka Ted Moseby! Madness. I don't really remember anything of his performance, other than thinking that he was cute. I should've gotten his autograph after the show, but I was too busy losing my mind over seeing Cher Horowitz and Chandler's dad (aka Alicia Silverstone and Kathleen Turner) in person.
In more related news, today I saw the trailor for Happythankyoumoreplease, which is an actual movie title of the actual movie that Josh Radnor wrote, directed, and stars in. It looks good, and I guess it won some sort of Sundance prize? Good for him.
In unrelated and unfortunate news, I have had two songs CONSTANTLY stuck in my head today: For The First Time by The Script, and What The Hell by Avril Lavigne. Awful. Well, the Avril song is admittedly kind of catchy, but I feel like she needs a new gimmick. The Script is just UGH sooo blah. Like, who LOVES The Script? It's like saying "Oh I just LOVE Matchbox 20!" Which, I feel like comparing the two is even an insult to Matchbox 20. But I am indifferent to the point of anger about The Script. Which, I realize, is not indifference. It's just that their songs are okay, but they are played ALL THE TIME! I don't even listen to the radio/watch music videos all that much, and even I feel bombarded. Stop bombarding me, The Script. Also, stop being from Ireland, because hating you makes me feel like I'm betraying the motherland.
Seacrest out.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
I am better today
I was actually better by, like, an hour after I got home from work. Damn this seasonal depression. Not that it's entirely to blame, but it certainly doesn't help.
Some things that have helped today:
1. I got to thinking about a few posts I want to do in the future. They involve lists. And will probably only be interesting to me. Oh well. I love lists.
2. I had a long talk with my dad at dinner about my time in France. It was pretty much the best part of my life, and brought up a lot of happy memories. This evening I got out my bag o' France memories. I have been meaning to make a scrapbook out of it, but I just keep...not doing anything about it. And it's been almost 4 years. But I'm really excited about it now, and hopefully it will actually turn into something. Also, I reread my journals I kept on that trip. Love. I want to go back. Anyway, I think the project will bring me much joy.
In completely unrelated news, I was listening to Don't Stop Believin tonight, and was reminded of what a fucking awesome song that was. I miss the days, before that song became so associated with pop culture, i.e. Glee and Rock of Ages. Now, I feel like rocking out to that song is just a Gleek thing to do. I just love the 80s, goddammit!
In other news, I am worried I may have ingested some poison today. I keep tasting black licorice, like, really strongly. Which I guess means poison to me.
Some things that have helped today:
1. I got to thinking about a few posts I want to do in the future. They involve lists. And will probably only be interesting to me. Oh well. I love lists.
2. I had a long talk with my dad at dinner about my time in France. It was pretty much the best part of my life, and brought up a lot of happy memories. This evening I got out my bag o' France memories. I have been meaning to make a scrapbook out of it, but I just keep...not doing anything about it. And it's been almost 4 years. But I'm really excited about it now, and hopefully it will actually turn into something. Also, I reread my journals I kept on that trip. Love. I want to go back. Anyway, I think the project will bring me much joy.
In completely unrelated news, I was listening to Don't Stop Believin tonight, and was reminded of what a fucking awesome song that was. I miss the days, before that song became so associated with pop culture, i.e. Glee and Rock of Ages. Now, I feel like rocking out to that song is just a Gleek thing to do. I just love the 80s, goddammit!
In other news, I am worried I may have ingested some poison today. I keep tasting black licorice, like, really strongly. Which I guess means poison to me.
Monday, March 7, 2011
RAGE
Dear [redacted - you can find this by googling - YIKES],
Thank you so much for not responding to the 4 emails I have sent you regarding my interview 3 FUCKING WEEKS AGO. I really appreciate the respect and professionalism you have demonstrated in your utter lack of consideration. I mean, I know you've undoubtedly been super busy contemplating just which pair of high-waisted plaid pants you will be wearing each day, and I know that must be exhausting, but if you could take just a second of your day to write me an email, or pick up your phone and call me, that would just be super duper.
Additionally, I'm getting a little wary about you holding my portfolio hostage. I have asked nicely for it to be returned to me, even offered to pick it up myself. I know you don't even know what it is, because when I gave it to you, you thought it was a collection of random articles by random writers that I thought you might...like...to read...so I can't imagine what the fuck you've been doing with it it for all this time. But I'd really like that back, useless though it has proven to be thusfar in my job search. I will even come to your NO MAN'S LAND of an office to get it! I will barge in without knocking!
Because yes, oh yes, let's not forget, I ALREADY FUCKING WORK FOR YOU! Hi...yeah...that's me, one of the monkeys over in customer service, the one trying desperately to escape? Me. Your response is critical to my escape plan. You can see my cubicle from your office. You could feasibly write me a note, fold it into a paper airplane, and lauch it over to my cubicle, if you wanted. That would admittedly be the coolest job rejection ever. See how easy it would be for you to JUST FUCKING LET ME KNOW if the position has been filled or you're not interested in me? I mean, aren't we all supposed to be one big happy family here at Mystic? In that case, can you please help a sister out here?
Fondly,
Colleen
P.S. I know where you live.
Well, that's that. Had to get that off my chest. But seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH POTENTIAL EMPLOYERS JUST NOT RESPONDING?! This is nowhere near the first time this has happened. Throughout my entire job search, even though all but one place said that they would definitely DEFINITELY let me know either way, whether I was hired or not, by such and such a day. They just do nothing. No call, no email, in this case, not even coming over to my desk and saying, "Hey, sorry." The only way I have gotten either of the "real" jobs I've had post college has been by calling repeatedly and pestering people. And this is not like, calling the next day either. This is "Oh, we'll definitely let you know either way by next Friday" and I call, like, a week or so after that. Other places I've called and called, spoken with secretaries, and they just say they'll pass along the message and definitely have someone get back to me. False.
I am 24 years old, relatively new to the workforce, and even I know this is unprofessional. I don't want to pester you with phone calls, but when I desperately need a job because I either don't have one and have no money, or the one I have currently is going to make me start killing people in cold blood, I JUST WANT SOME SORT OF ANSWER. If you don't want to get back to people you're not interested in, just tell them in the interview that if they don't hear from you by such-and-such a date, to assume that you are not interested. Don't promise that you will call with a result either way, and then don't do it! It is so fucking frustrating.
Basically, this whole situation...plus my disappointment that I obviously have not gotten the job I wanted, and will be stuck in a horrible customer service job presumably for the rest of time, because the college degree that I wasted thousands and thousands of dollars on that I cannot afford to pay back, is about as useful as a dirty diaper...has brewed up a delicious batch of Colleen rage.
Now as most of you are aware, Colleen rage is a very special thing. Because I am a social retard, and I do not know how to process emotions such as rage and anger, they come out all wrong, often at innopportune times. Basically, all of my emotions and feelings bottle up, until one single minor thing tips me off, and I start flailing and shrieking over something absolutely ridiculous. I am a big enough person to admit that every single time, it comes across as hilarious. But imagine, if you will, if you were furious and/upset about something....and how much more infuriating it would be if your rage was hilarious. Because now, not only are you pissed off about whatever you were pissed off about in the first place, plus the minor thing that tipped you off, but NOW you are pissed off that people are LAUGHING RIGHT IN YOUR FACE over your behavior. And there is NOTHING you can do to make them stop, or realize that you're serious, or that you're really upset, because the damage has already been done. So now you just have to get over it, take a loss, bottle up all of your feelings, and be regular ol' Colleen, because GOD FORBID Colleen is ever upset about something, because then she might not be able to listen to everyone else's problems.
So, there's that. I am not a happy camper. My job makes me miserable. I am, at this point, living at home and working in customer service for the long term. What I initially planned to be a quick time at home, for maybe a year, has turned into me living at home for a long, long time. I have no way of getting out with out a very decent paying job, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing like that in Camden. I can't look for a job outside of Camden, because I do not have a car. I cannot get a car because I am not even sort of able to afford one, and my parents cannot/will not help me with one. It is non-negotiable.
I am stuck in Camden with an awful job, no friends, and absolutely nothing to do. I'm a 24 year old waste of space. So I'm sorry if I'm not always able to entertain you.
Thank you so much for not responding to the 4 emails I have sent you regarding my interview 3 FUCKING WEEKS AGO. I really appreciate the respect and professionalism you have demonstrated in your utter lack of consideration. I mean, I know you've undoubtedly been super busy contemplating just which pair of high-waisted plaid pants you will be wearing each day, and I know that must be exhausting, but if you could take just a second of your day to write me an email, or pick up your phone and call me, that would just be super duper.
Additionally, I'm getting a little wary about you holding my portfolio hostage. I have asked nicely for it to be returned to me, even offered to pick it up myself. I know you don't even know what it is, because when I gave it to you, you thought it was a collection of random articles by random writers that I thought you might...like...to read...so I can't imagine what the fuck you've been doing with it it for all this time. But I'd really like that back, useless though it has proven to be thusfar in my job search. I will even come to your NO MAN'S LAND of an office to get it! I will barge in without knocking!
Because yes, oh yes, let's not forget, I ALREADY FUCKING WORK FOR YOU! Hi...yeah...that's me, one of the monkeys over in customer service, the one trying desperately to escape? Me. Your response is critical to my escape plan. You can see my cubicle from your office. You could feasibly write me a note, fold it into a paper airplane, and lauch it over to my cubicle, if you wanted. That would admittedly be the coolest job rejection ever. See how easy it would be for you to JUST FUCKING LET ME KNOW if the position has been filled or you're not interested in me? I mean, aren't we all supposed to be one big happy family here at Mystic? In that case, can you please help a sister out here?
Fondly,
Colleen
P.S. I know where you live.
Well, that's that. Had to get that off my chest. But seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH POTENTIAL EMPLOYERS JUST NOT RESPONDING?! This is nowhere near the first time this has happened. Throughout my entire job search, even though all but one place said that they would definitely DEFINITELY let me know either way, whether I was hired or not, by such and such a day. They just do nothing. No call, no email, in this case, not even coming over to my desk and saying, "Hey, sorry." The only way I have gotten either of the "real" jobs I've had post college has been by calling repeatedly and pestering people. And this is not like, calling the next day either. This is "Oh, we'll definitely let you know either way by next Friday" and I call, like, a week or so after that. Other places I've called and called, spoken with secretaries, and they just say they'll pass along the message and definitely have someone get back to me. False.
I am 24 years old, relatively new to the workforce, and even I know this is unprofessional. I don't want to pester you with phone calls, but when I desperately need a job because I either don't have one and have no money, or the one I have currently is going to make me start killing people in cold blood, I JUST WANT SOME SORT OF ANSWER. If you don't want to get back to people you're not interested in, just tell them in the interview that if they don't hear from you by such-and-such a date, to assume that you are not interested. Don't promise that you will call with a result either way, and then don't do it! It is so fucking frustrating.
Basically, this whole situation...plus my disappointment that I obviously have not gotten the job I wanted, and will be stuck in a horrible customer service job presumably for the rest of time, because the college degree that I wasted thousands and thousands of dollars on that I cannot afford to pay back, is about as useful as a dirty diaper...has brewed up a delicious batch of Colleen rage.
Now as most of you are aware, Colleen rage is a very special thing. Because I am a social retard, and I do not know how to process emotions such as rage and anger, they come out all wrong, often at innopportune times. Basically, all of my emotions and feelings bottle up, until one single minor thing tips me off, and I start flailing and shrieking over something absolutely ridiculous. I am a big enough person to admit that every single time, it comes across as hilarious. But imagine, if you will, if you were furious and/upset about something....and how much more infuriating it would be if your rage was hilarious. Because now, not only are you pissed off about whatever you were pissed off about in the first place, plus the minor thing that tipped you off, but NOW you are pissed off that people are LAUGHING RIGHT IN YOUR FACE over your behavior. And there is NOTHING you can do to make them stop, or realize that you're serious, or that you're really upset, because the damage has already been done. So now you just have to get over it, take a loss, bottle up all of your feelings, and be regular ol' Colleen, because GOD FORBID Colleen is ever upset about something, because then she might not be able to listen to everyone else's problems.
So, there's that. I am not a happy camper. My job makes me miserable. I am, at this point, living at home and working in customer service for the long term. What I initially planned to be a quick time at home, for maybe a year, has turned into me living at home for a long, long time. I have no way of getting out with out a very decent paying job, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing like that in Camden. I can't look for a job outside of Camden, because I do not have a car. I cannot get a car because I am not even sort of able to afford one, and my parents cannot/will not help me with one. It is non-negotiable.
I am stuck in Camden with an awful job, no friends, and absolutely nothing to do. I'm a 24 year old waste of space. So I'm sorry if I'm not always able to entertain you.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
I think a change would do me good
My sister is looking to buy a house.
There are 2 bedrooms.
After going to look at it today....I want to move in with her.
It's not really feasible at this point, and I don't even know if she would want to live with me, but...yeah.
Something to think about.
There are 2 bedrooms.
After going to look at it today....I want to move in with her.
It's not really feasible at this point, and I don't even know if she would want to live with me, but...yeah.
Something to think about.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Idol Curiosity
I love American Idol. I am physically unable to not love American Idol. There are so many things I hate about it, that I bitch about, but it basically makes my life worth living, for however many months a year that it's on.
As a testament to my love, I was going to make a top 10 list of my favorite ever performances. But after spending several hours narrowing down the list of my favorites, I just cannot do a top 10. It's too hard. Then I was going to do a favorite from each season. Way too hard. Plus season 3 was worthless.
Sooo....I made a list of my top ___ (number to be filled in once I finally finish narrowing it down.) And since I'm sure you all THIRST to watch these videos, I've included a link, because I don't even know if it's possible to embed the videos in here.
SEASON 1
Kelly Clarkson - I Surrender Leah, I know you feel me on this one. Everything was so intense! The song was suspenseful! Dramatic key change! Omigod, Kelly's losing her voice, CAN SHE MAKE IT TO THE FINALE?!?! Spoiler alert: she can.
Also, if you do not love Kelly Clarkson after her winning performance, you are a big jerk.
SEASON 2
Kimberley Locke & Frenchie Davis - Band of Gold Pre-Frenchiegate. Two big black women trying to out-black each other in Hollywood Week. The winner? My ears.
Clay Aiken - Bridge Over Troubled Water I don't even care what y'all say about Clay Aiken, he can sing the shit out of a song. Bonus: this was the version we sang in chorus!
SEASON 3 was terrible.
SEASON 4 happened.
SEASON 5
Elliott Yamin and Mary J Blige - One Elliott is hands down my all-time favorite Idol contestant. Ever. And his finale performance with MJB is, as I believe we said back in that time, "off the chain". Granted, I find MJB annoying as fuck, but she's incredible in this. Watch Elliott hold his own as she attempts to drag him around the stage like a ragdoll! One of the best Idol performances ever.
SEASON 6 was a big one for me. Probably my overall favorite season, in terms of like-ability across the board.
Jordin Sparks - I Who Have Nothing Sixteen. She was sixteen when she sang this. Could you sing like this when you were sixteen? I certainly couldn't.
Blake Lewis - Virtual Insanity THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS, SOMEONE PERFORMED JAMIROQUAI ON AMERICAN IDOL. Blake Lewis deserves to live on in infamy for that reason alone. Unfortunately, he doesn't. That doesn't change the fact that I once paid $5 so that he would say my name in a youtube video, but that's certainly not the most ridiculous thing I've ever done in my life.
Chris Richardson - Geek in the Pink First of all, thank you judges for pointing out how ridiculous it was that he dedicated this performance to his grandma ("You've been invaluable tonight, Paula, haven't you?"). Secondly, I was so excited that Chris performed this Jason Mraz song that I nearly pooped my pants. He was cute as a button.
Phil Stacey - I Could Not Ask For More Again, I don't even care what you say. I LOVED Phil Stacey, and though this performance starts off rough and is almost nauseatingly cheesy, he kills it at the end. Plus, he missed the birth of his daughter to audition, so I think we need to give him some respect for the fact that his wife will hold that over his head for the rest of his life, and even after that.
Phil Stacey - Missing You Yeah that's right, more Phil Stacey. What of it? Leave his ears alone!
SEASON 7
David Archuleta - Another Day in Paradise NOBODY cared about this performance. Literally nobody. Archie probably doesn't even remember performing it. But I loooooved how he started this one out. Phil Collins haterz need not apply.
David Cook - Always Be My Baby Now, I will be the first to admit that I was extremely skeptical/overjoyed when I heard they would be doing a Mariah Carey week. But low and behold, David Cook knocked it outta the park! AND this was another super-dramatic performance, because this was the first and I think only week his terminally ill brother Adam could make it out to see him perform on the show, and it was great that he was there for such a great performance for which he received so much praise. David was super emotional, and it made for a great moment.
While I'm at it, I've basically always gone back and forth between indifference and annoyance towards David Cook, but then I saw this video, which totally changed my mind. He showed up to MC an event to benefit brain cancer, in the pouring rain, THE DAY AFTER losing his brother to the disease, and made this wonderful speech. Incredible.
SEASON 8
Matt Giraud - Georgia Fucking awesome. And this was during Hollywood week! MG is my other all-time favorite Idol contestant. Also, he used to be a dueling piano player, which, I think, may be the coolest job ever.
Kris Allen - To Make You Feel My Love I actually prefer his version to Adele's. So romantical. Maybe I'll get him to sing it at Jhole's wedding. In addition to Lifehouse. I couldn't find his actual performance, so here's the studio version featuring a really obnoxious picture.
Anoop Desai - Always On My Mind I forgot, as I was writing this, that his name is not actually "Anoop Dawg Desai". Thanks, Randy. Anyway, here's the audio of his idol performance with a really creepy still shot. And it cuts out at the very end.
Kris Allen - Ain't No Sunshine Jhole just had to change her pants.
Kris Allen - Falling Slowly I LOVE THIS. That is all. Studio version was the best I could find.
Matt Giraud - Hard to Handle This is a bit of a cheat, because he didn't perform it on the show, but he did perform it in the AI Live concert, and this is my damn list so I'll put it on here if I want. A quick visit to the Department of Backstory: I always loved Matt on the show, but my love was only musical. BUT THEN I saw him in the concert and was just...consumed with lust. He was not only crazy awesome for his entire set (a lot better than "Phone it in" Lambert, but whatever), but he was also rocking a fauxhawk. I will not apologize for loving a man with a fauxhawk. So anyway, this song was pretty much the peek of my lust.
SEASON 9
Lee DeWyze - Beast of Burden Because this song makes me want to make love to him on...like... a picnic blanket in the middle of the afternoon, to distract myself from his inability to sing the correct words.
Casey James - Jealous Guy I didn't even really care for Casey, but this performance won me over in a big way.
Lee DeWyze - The Boxer Crying! Parents! "I'm gonna try to win the thing, alright?" Ugh, I loves me a good emotional homecoming montage. His actual performance starts at like 2:40.
SEASON 10 just started! Here are the best so far:
Paul McDonald - Maggie May What a great little weirdo! He's adorable. And his teeth win at being white. Seriously. Theyaresowhite.
Also, while we're at it, his Hollywood week duet of Blackbird with Kendra somethingorother was awesome as well.
Casey Abrams - I Put A Spell On You This guy has already rendered every other contestant unnecessary. The best take on "I Put A Spell On You" since the Sanderson Sisters (2 points if you get the reference).
So that's all for this season, but I can wait to see what lies in store!
In closing, in spending HOURS compiling this list, I actually...sort of...forgot to actually vote for the boys tonight. I'M SORRY PAUL AND CASEY I HOPE YOU'RE SAFE ANYWAY! If they aren't I will never forgive myself/forget pretty quickly.
As a testament to my love, I was going to make a top 10 list of my favorite ever performances. But after spending several hours narrowing down the list of my favorites, I just cannot do a top 10. It's too hard. Then I was going to do a favorite from each season. Way too hard. Plus season 3 was worthless.
Sooo....I made a list of my top ___ (number to be filled in once I finally finish narrowing it down.) And since I'm sure you all THIRST to watch these videos, I've included a link, because I don't even know if it's possible to embed the videos in here.
SEASON 1
Kelly Clarkson - I Surrender Leah, I know you feel me on this one. Everything was so intense! The song was suspenseful! Dramatic key change! Omigod, Kelly's losing her voice, CAN SHE MAKE IT TO THE FINALE?!?! Spoiler alert: she can.
Also, if you do not love Kelly Clarkson after her winning performance, you are a big jerk.
SEASON 2
Kimberley Locke & Frenchie Davis - Band of Gold Pre-Frenchiegate. Two big black women trying to out-black each other in Hollywood Week. The winner? My ears.
Clay Aiken - Bridge Over Troubled Water I don't even care what y'all say about Clay Aiken, he can sing the shit out of a song. Bonus: this was the version we sang in chorus!
SEASON 3 was terrible.
SEASON 4 happened.
SEASON 5
Elliott Yamin and Mary J Blige - One Elliott is hands down my all-time favorite Idol contestant. Ever. And his finale performance with MJB is, as I believe we said back in that time, "off the chain". Granted, I find MJB annoying as fuck, but she's incredible in this. Watch Elliott hold his own as she attempts to drag him around the stage like a ragdoll! One of the best Idol performances ever.
SEASON 6 was a big one for me. Probably my overall favorite season, in terms of like-ability across the board.
Jordin Sparks - I Who Have Nothing Sixteen. She was sixteen when she sang this. Could you sing like this when you were sixteen? I certainly couldn't.
Blake Lewis - Virtual Insanity THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS, SOMEONE PERFORMED JAMIROQUAI ON AMERICAN IDOL. Blake Lewis deserves to live on in infamy for that reason alone. Unfortunately, he doesn't. That doesn't change the fact that I once paid $5 so that he would say my name in a youtube video, but that's certainly not the most ridiculous thing I've ever done in my life.
Chris Richardson - Geek in the Pink First of all, thank you judges for pointing out how ridiculous it was that he dedicated this performance to his grandma ("You've been invaluable tonight, Paula, haven't you?"). Secondly, I was so excited that Chris performed this Jason Mraz song that I nearly pooped my pants. He was cute as a button.
Phil Stacey - I Could Not Ask For More Again, I don't even care what you say. I LOVED Phil Stacey, and though this performance starts off rough and is almost nauseatingly cheesy, he kills it at the end. Plus, he missed the birth of his daughter to audition, so I think we need to give him some respect for the fact that his wife will hold that over his head for the rest of his life, and even after that.
Phil Stacey - Missing You Yeah that's right, more Phil Stacey. What of it? Leave his ears alone!
SEASON 7
David Archuleta - Another Day in Paradise NOBODY cared about this performance. Literally nobody. Archie probably doesn't even remember performing it. But I loooooved how he started this one out. Phil Collins haterz need not apply.
David Cook - Always Be My Baby Now, I will be the first to admit that I was extremely skeptical/overjoyed when I heard they would be doing a Mariah Carey week. But low and behold, David Cook knocked it outta the park! AND this was another super-dramatic performance, because this was the first and I think only week his terminally ill brother Adam could make it out to see him perform on the show, and it was great that he was there for such a great performance for which he received so much praise. David was super emotional, and it made for a great moment.
While I'm at it, I've basically always gone back and forth between indifference and annoyance towards David Cook, but then I saw this video, which totally changed my mind. He showed up to MC an event to benefit brain cancer, in the pouring rain, THE DAY AFTER losing his brother to the disease, and made this wonderful speech. Incredible.
SEASON 8
Matt Giraud - Georgia Fucking awesome. And this was during Hollywood week! MG is my other all-time favorite Idol contestant. Also, he used to be a dueling piano player, which, I think, may be the coolest job ever.
Kris Allen - To Make You Feel My Love I actually prefer his version to Adele's. So romantical. Maybe I'll get him to sing it at Jhole's wedding. In addition to Lifehouse. I couldn't find his actual performance, so here's the studio version featuring a really obnoxious picture.
Anoop Desai - Always On My Mind I forgot, as I was writing this, that his name is not actually "Anoop Dawg Desai". Thanks, Randy. Anyway, here's the audio of his idol performance with a really creepy still shot. And it cuts out at the very end.
Kris Allen - Ain't No Sunshine Jhole just had to change her pants.
Kris Allen - Falling Slowly I LOVE THIS. That is all. Studio version was the best I could find.
Matt Giraud - Hard to Handle This is a bit of a cheat, because he didn't perform it on the show, but he did perform it in the AI Live concert, and this is my damn list so I'll put it on here if I want. A quick visit to the Department of Backstory: I always loved Matt on the show, but my love was only musical. BUT THEN I saw him in the concert and was just...consumed with lust. He was not only crazy awesome for his entire set (a lot better than "Phone it in" Lambert, but whatever), but he was also rocking a fauxhawk. I will not apologize for loving a man with a fauxhawk. So anyway, this song was pretty much the peek of my lust.
SEASON 9
Lee DeWyze - Beast of Burden Because this song makes me want to make love to him on...like... a picnic blanket in the middle of the afternoon, to distract myself from his inability to sing the correct words.
Casey James - Jealous Guy I didn't even really care for Casey, but this performance won me over in a big way.
Lee DeWyze - The Boxer Crying! Parents! "I'm gonna try to win the thing, alright?" Ugh, I loves me a good emotional homecoming montage. His actual performance starts at like 2:40.
SEASON 10 just started! Here are the best so far:
Paul McDonald - Maggie May What a great little weirdo! He's adorable. And his teeth win at being white. Seriously. Theyaresowhite.
Also, while we're at it, his Hollywood week duet of Blackbird with Kendra somethingorother was awesome as well.
Casey Abrams - I Put A Spell On You This guy has already rendered every other contestant unnecessary. The best take on "I Put A Spell On You" since the Sanderson Sisters (2 points if you get the reference).
So that's all for this season, but I can wait to see what lies in store!
In closing, in spending HOURS compiling this list, I actually...sort of...forgot to actually vote for the boys tonight. I'M SORRY PAUL AND CASEY I HOPE YOU'RE SAFE ANYWAY! If they aren't I will never forgive myself/forget pretty quickly.
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