1) Taylor Swift
T.Swift is what inspired this entire list. I just finished reading her Rolling Stone cover story, and sheeee is just great. Tell me you don't just want to be biffles with her. She's awkward, she's nerdy, she's spiteful: she is literally every single thing I look for in a friend.
2) Emma Stone
Have you seen Easy A? I know she's playing a character and everything, but I firmly believe it was a character based on Emma Stone. Eyyyyyyyye gotta pocket goddapockehfulla sunshine. ALSO we would spend so many hours discussing every beautiful inch of Ryan Gosling's hot hot bod.
3) Anna Kendrick
Remember back when the first Twilight movie came out, and everyone was terrible, except for Bella's friend Jessica, who was HILARIOUS?! Anna Kendrick. Remember George Clooney's little scene-stealing Type-A breakdown friend in Up In The Air? Anna Kendrick. Remember when Beca from Pitch Perfect stole your heart with 3 simple words: "That's my dick."? Anna Kendrick. AND she's a nerd! See also: her twitter feed.
4) Jennifer Lawrence
Guys. Have you ever seen any single interview with her? Or any photo? There's nothing more to say.
5) Jennifer Garner
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Jennifer Garner is my spirit animal. I fell in love with her, as we all did, in 13 Going On 30. MATTY IT'S THRILLER! And then SHE fell in love with my number one all time great great wonderful handsome love in this whole miserable world: Ben Affleck. And now, as I've fantasized, I will sit next to her on a plane someday, and I will explain how much I love them and how they have the most adorable children in the world and if they have any wallpaper that needs removing or have a craving for mac n cheese shepherds pie, I would be happy to help. And then she would say, "Aww, you seem like a nice girl. Here, have one of my husband's old t-shirts!" Don't mind if I do.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Unsolicited Movie Review: Pitch Perfect
Guys, I saw Pitch Perfect today. It was great. I had heard only good things, and it certainly lived up to its reputation. Is this spoiler-y review? Maybe. I mean, it's a comedy about a cappella groups, so it's not like there was a twist ending. So, whatever.
Anyway, my main reason for seeing it was to see my spirit animal Rebel Wilson. I've decided I really wanted her to be my drunken alter-ego, but she's actually much funnier than me and I'm not very good with accents.
Also, I've got a little bit of a best friend girl crush on Anna Kendrick. Ever since she stole the show in the first Twilight movie (along with the guy that played Mike Newton...has he done anything else? Because I loved him.) and then charmed me in Up In The Air, I can't get enough of her. I also follow her on Twitter, and her tweets are rare but quite amusing.
So the movie's not going to win any Academy Awards, the pacing was about as rushed as the Goblet of Fire movie (don't get me started), but the script was great and witty and the entire cast was wonderful. The above listed ladies, as well as most of the other Bellas were so weird and wonderful. Including the creepy quiet asian.
But then, the boys. Of course I'm going to fall dangerously in love (Beyonce style) with boys in an a cappella singing movie. Because, obviously. FIRST AND FOREMOST: SKYLAR ASTIN. Skylar Astin was Georg in the OBC of Spring Awakening. I went through a pretty heavy Spring Awakening obsession phase back in college, and LOVED Skylar, he's amazing. I was excited to see him in a small role in Hamlet 2, but IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when he showed up as the romantic male lead in Pitch Perfect. Mainly because in Spring Awakening he looked like this:
And now he looks like this:
I haven't seen a transition that enjoyable since Hot!Neville exploded into my life last summer.
Ahem, sorry.
Anyway, Skylar. So great. And he just....is so adorable...and precious...and wears hoodies....and his character LOVES THE BREAKFAST CLUB. There was so much Breakfast Club love in this movie, and so much important utilization of the iconic Judd Nelson fist pump that I was literally getting emotional because pop culture is a little too important to me. I'm getting misty just thinking about it. Ahem.
Anyway, aside from him, we have Adam DeVine, who played the douche-y leader of the Treblemakers, the boy's a cappella group and the Bellas' main rival. He was hilarious, and great, and very Jack Black-y (which is a personal weakness of mine), but more importantly, I've decided I need to marry him in real life, because his last name is DeVine, and that's a fucking great last name. And I will make everyone call me Loretta, because Loretta Devine is the fucking best, and I can pretend to be a sassy black woman if I want.
And then. To anyone who's seen the movie, and knows me at all, will not be at all surprised to find that I fell very deeply in love with Jesse's roommate Benji, who loves Star Wars and close-up magic. Because of course I did. He's basically my dream man, because I've come to the recent conclusion that there is just no man in this world that is nerdy enough to be my soulmate. He wore a tshirt with a necktie screen-printed onto it to his a cappella audition, and that's very close to a tuxedo tshirt, which is my all-time number one male clothing turn-on, so, sold. And at the end of the movie? When he sang "I've Got The Magic In Me"? Bestill my heart.
Guys, it's time for me to confess that in the process of writing this "review", and googling info and pictures and stuff, I have fallen into a balck hole of obsession, and I'm listening to the soundtrack on repeat, I just keep remembering/finding out more hot guys that were in this movie and oh god what's happening to me I have far too much time on my hands right now to obsess I'm going to lose my mind xdhjbskejbgkawehbg
Ahem. Anyway. Pitch Perfect = GREAT.
THE BEST COMEDY I'VE SEEN SINCE EASY A. SO THERE.
P.S. I tried to include visual aids to keep my readers engaged. But I think I unfortunately also include too many words.
Anyway, my main reason for seeing it was to see my spirit animal Rebel Wilson. I've decided I really wanted her to be my drunken alter-ego, but she's actually much funnier than me and I'm not very good with accents.
Also, I've got a little bit of a best friend girl crush on Anna Kendrick. Ever since she stole the show in the first Twilight movie (along with the guy that played Mike Newton...has he done anything else? Because I loved him.) and then charmed me in Up In The Air, I can't get enough of her. I also follow her on Twitter, and her tweets are rare but quite amusing.
So the movie's not going to win any Academy Awards, the pacing was about as rushed as the Goblet of Fire movie (don't get me started), but the script was great and witty and the entire cast was wonderful. The above listed ladies, as well as most of the other Bellas were so weird and wonderful. Including the creepy quiet asian.
But then, the boys. Of course I'm going to fall dangerously in love (Beyonce style) with boys in an a cappella singing movie. Because, obviously. FIRST AND FOREMOST: SKYLAR ASTIN. Skylar Astin was Georg in the OBC of Spring Awakening. I went through a pretty heavy Spring Awakening obsession phase back in college, and LOVED Skylar, he's amazing. I was excited to see him in a small role in Hamlet 2, but IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when he showed up as the romantic male lead in Pitch Perfect. Mainly because in Spring Awakening he looked like this:
 |
| Hair...what. |
And now he looks like this:
 |
| Oh hey there! |
 |
| Ah, memories. |
Ahem, sorry.
Anyway, Skylar. So great. And he just....is so adorable...and precious...and wears hoodies....and his character LOVES THE BREAKFAST CLUB. There was so much Breakfast Club love in this movie, and so much important utilization of the iconic Judd Nelson fist pump that I was literally getting emotional because pop culture is a little too important to me. I'm getting misty just thinking about it. Ahem.
Anyway, aside from him, we have Adam DeVine, who played the douche-y leader of the Treblemakers, the boy's a cappella group and the Bellas' main rival. He was hilarious, and great, and very Jack Black-y (which is a personal weakness of mine), but more importantly, I've decided I need to marry him in real life, because his last name is DeVine, and that's a fucking great last name. And I will make everyone call me Loretta, because Loretta Devine is the fucking best, and I can pretend to be a sassy black woman if I want.
 |
| I do though. |
And then. To anyone who's seen the movie, and knows me at all, will not be at all surprised to find that I fell very deeply in love with Jesse's roommate Benji, who loves Star Wars and close-up magic. Because of course I did. He's basically my dream man, because I've come to the recent conclusion that there is just no man in this world that is nerdy enough to be my soulmate. He wore a tshirt with a necktie screen-printed onto it to his a cappella audition, and that's very close to a tuxedo tshirt, which is my all-time number one male clothing turn-on, so, sold. And at the end of the movie? When he sang "I've Got The Magic In Me"? Bestill my heart.
 |
| LOOK AT THIS PRECIOUS ANGEL. |
Guys, it's time for me to confess that in the process of writing this "review", and googling info and pictures and stuff, I have fallen into a balck hole of obsession, and I'm listening to the soundtrack on repeat, I just keep remembering/finding out more hot guys that were in this movie and oh god what's happening to me I have far too much time on my hands right now to obsess I'm going to lose my mind xdhjbskejbgkawehbg
Ahem. Anyway. Pitch Perfect = GREAT.
THE BEST COMEDY I'VE SEEN SINCE EASY A. SO THERE.
P.S. I tried to include visual aids to keep my readers engaged. But I think I unfortunately also include too many words.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
The Unemployment Diaries: Volume 1
So, first off, I'm unemployed now. I would say that's a different story for a different day, but let's just skip over it entirely.
Instead, let's chronicle the things I've accomplished over the last several days:
-Cleaned the house before my parents returned home from their New England getaway
-Made 3 delicious dinners
-Made and consumed so many apple products that I'm worried I may start shitting my pants
-Went to the gym, twice
-Showered, twice
-Made initial attempts at finding new employment
-Drank 3 cans of Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash
-Raked leaves
-Caught up on DVR
-Fell down the YouTube rabbit hole. Survived.
-Shouted at the television
-Exhausted myself
Soooo, lots of exciting stuff so far. Lots more exciting stuff on the horizon. Thinking about watching some Netflix Instant. Maybe, at some point getting another job. BUT IN THE MEANTIME, I'll be sure to keep you updated on my exciting adventures!
Probably.
Instead, let's chronicle the things I've accomplished over the last several days:
-Cleaned the house before my parents returned home from their New England getaway
-Made 3 delicious dinners
-Made and consumed so many apple products that I'm worried I may start shitting my pants
-Went to the gym, twice
-Showered, twice
-Made initial attempts at finding new employment
-Drank 3 cans of Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash
-Raked leaves
-Caught up on DVR
-Fell down the YouTube rabbit hole. Survived.
-Shouted at the television
-Exhausted myself
Soooo, lots of exciting stuff so far. Lots more exciting stuff on the horizon. Thinking about watching some Netflix Instant. Maybe, at some point getting another job. BUT IN THE MEANTIME, I'll be sure to keep you updated on my exciting adventures!
Probably.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
I smell.
Hey, so long story short (famous last words)...a few months ago, I moved to a new cubicle at work. Shortly after the move, my supervisor started sending out emails the the department reminding people to not wear heavy perfumes or lotions because we have people in the department that are sensitive to such things. I paid these emails no mind, because I had just sat at the cubicle across from the girl with such allergies for a year, with no problems.
One day, as my coworker from the cubicle across from mine was leaving for the day, she asked to speak with me in one of the conference rooms. Upon sitting down and closing the door, she informed me that the perfume I was wearing was making her physically ill and unable to breathe. Needless to say, I was a bit surprised. I have worn the same Vera Wang Princess perfume for 7 years, and have never encountered a problem with it. And I don't bathe in it, because people that do that are disgusting. A spritz on the throat, and a spritz on the wrist, and that's it. Said coworker said she had never had a problem with scents or anything like that before, but something about this was really bothering her. She was overly apologetic, asking me about 1000 times if I was mad at her, and apologizing for hurting my feelings. My feelings were not hurt, but I felt bad to bring out such a reaction in someone.
The next day I came to work with no perfume, and all was well. I told her what perfume I wear, so she could investigate what the allergy might be, and I assumed we were done. However, for several days afterward, she continued to ask me if I was mad at her, and talk about how all the sleep she'd lost worrying that I was mad at her, and reliving just how AWFUL the perfume was, and how sick it made her feel. And of course, in the same way that someone incessantly asking you "What's wrong?" becomes the only thing that is wrong, I did end up annoyed by her and the whole situation. Plus, I love my perfume, and I miss wearing it! I want to smell pretty!
So that was all, until this week. Yesterday, mere minutes after I walked into work and sat down at my desk, said coworker asked if I was wearing my perfume. I said no, because I truthfully was not. I had dabbled in wearing different Bath and Body Works Body Sprays in the last few weeks, but wasn't even wearing any yesterday. But as I was taking calls from customers for about the first hour I was there, she was asking the girl next to her (with a very SERIOUS allergy to scents), the woman next to me, people several desks over, people on the other side of the room, and everyone that walked by, if they could smell the AWFUL and OVERWHELMING and NAUSEATING scent that was making her sick. Universal response: no. But of course this was making me paranoid, so as I'm on the phone with customers, I was smelling my shirt and my pits and everything I could think of that might have a smell. I mean there's tons of things: shampoo, conditioner, body wash, fabric softener, air freshener, etc. But all I could determine that might be enough of a smell to carry over the cubicle wall was the hand lotion I had put on that morning, As in, several hours before coming to work.
So after listening to her go on dramatically for an hour, all while shooting me the stink-eye, I finally snapped at her that I was wearing the same lotion I have worn every day (true.), but if she thought that was what was bothering her, I would go wash my hands AGAIN. But even after taking a trip to the bathroom to rage-scrub my hands until they were pink, she carried on all day gasping, exclaiming "Oh, this smell!", and talking on the phone with customers with a tissue stuffed up her nose. And glaring at me. Always glaring at me.
So even though I was mega pissed, I came into work today wearing no perfume, no lotions, only unscented moisturizer on my face. I was greeted by yet another department-wide email from my supervisor, asking us once again to not wear perfumes. At this point, we are not supposed to wear perfume, body spray, lotion, lip gloss, chapstick, have hand sanitizer, or any of the above listed products at our desk. In my opinion this is a liiiiittle extreme. So I ignore it. Anyway, so I waited all day for The Coworker to address me, and finally near the end of the day, she asked me if I was wearing a different lotion today, and I said no. Because I am not wearing a different lotion, but I am not wearing the same lotion, because I am wearing no lotion. But I wanted to gauge her reaction. And sure enough, she said, it wasn't bothering her quite as much today, but it was still really burning her throat. So now we're clear that she's just crazy. She recommended I try using baby lotion. I recommended she get herself allergy tested. She looked offended.
So, my plan is to speak to my supervisor on Monday. To get my word in, and not look like a scent bully.
So, this is my long boring work story. That's what you get from demanding my return to blogging. Moral of the story: I smell fucking GREAT, and everybody knows it. Eff you, bitchy coworker.
One day, as my coworker from the cubicle across from mine was leaving for the day, she asked to speak with me in one of the conference rooms. Upon sitting down and closing the door, she informed me that the perfume I was wearing was making her physically ill and unable to breathe. Needless to say, I was a bit surprised. I have worn the same Vera Wang Princess perfume for 7 years, and have never encountered a problem with it. And I don't bathe in it, because people that do that are disgusting. A spritz on the throat, and a spritz on the wrist, and that's it. Said coworker said she had never had a problem with scents or anything like that before, but something about this was really bothering her. She was overly apologetic, asking me about 1000 times if I was mad at her, and apologizing for hurting my feelings. My feelings were not hurt, but I felt bad to bring out such a reaction in someone.
The next day I came to work with no perfume, and all was well. I told her what perfume I wear, so she could investigate what the allergy might be, and I assumed we were done. However, for several days afterward, she continued to ask me if I was mad at her, and talk about how all the sleep she'd lost worrying that I was mad at her, and reliving just how AWFUL the perfume was, and how sick it made her feel. And of course, in the same way that someone incessantly asking you "What's wrong?" becomes the only thing that is wrong, I did end up annoyed by her and the whole situation. Plus, I love my perfume, and I miss wearing it! I want to smell pretty!
So that was all, until this week. Yesterday, mere minutes after I walked into work and sat down at my desk, said coworker asked if I was wearing my perfume. I said no, because I truthfully was not. I had dabbled in wearing different Bath and Body Works Body Sprays in the last few weeks, but wasn't even wearing any yesterday. But as I was taking calls from customers for about the first hour I was there, she was asking the girl next to her (with a very SERIOUS allergy to scents), the woman next to me, people several desks over, people on the other side of the room, and everyone that walked by, if they could smell the AWFUL and OVERWHELMING and NAUSEATING scent that was making her sick. Universal response: no. But of course this was making me paranoid, so as I'm on the phone with customers, I was smelling my shirt and my pits and everything I could think of that might have a smell. I mean there's tons of things: shampoo, conditioner, body wash, fabric softener, air freshener, etc. But all I could determine that might be enough of a smell to carry over the cubicle wall was the hand lotion I had put on that morning, As in, several hours before coming to work.
So after listening to her go on dramatically for an hour, all while shooting me the stink-eye, I finally snapped at her that I was wearing the same lotion I have worn every day (true.), but if she thought that was what was bothering her, I would go wash my hands AGAIN. But even after taking a trip to the bathroom to rage-scrub my hands until they were pink, she carried on all day gasping, exclaiming "Oh, this smell!", and talking on the phone with customers with a tissue stuffed up her nose. And glaring at me. Always glaring at me.
So even though I was mega pissed, I came into work today wearing no perfume, no lotions, only unscented moisturizer on my face. I was greeted by yet another department-wide email from my supervisor, asking us once again to not wear perfumes. At this point, we are not supposed to wear perfume, body spray, lotion, lip gloss, chapstick, have hand sanitizer, or any of the above listed products at our desk. In my opinion this is a liiiiittle extreme. So I ignore it. Anyway, so I waited all day for The Coworker to address me, and finally near the end of the day, she asked me if I was wearing a different lotion today, and I said no. Because I am not wearing a different lotion, but I am not wearing the same lotion, because I am wearing no lotion. But I wanted to gauge her reaction. And sure enough, she said, it wasn't bothering her quite as much today, but it was still really burning her throat. So now we're clear that she's just crazy. She recommended I try using baby lotion. I recommended she get herself allergy tested. She looked offended.
So, my plan is to speak to my supervisor on Monday. To get my word in, and not look like a scent bully.
So, this is my long boring work story. That's what you get from demanding my return to blogging. Moral of the story: I smell fucking GREAT, and everybody knows it. Eff you, bitchy coworker.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
FUCK YEAH I'M BLOGGING
Hey! Hey guys! Hi there! Remember me? I'm your friendly neighborhood blogger, Colleen. I lunched with my dear friend Jhole this weekend, and she reminded me that I have a blog hadn't blogged in awhile. So then I decided to look back on my previous blogging, and fell in love with myself all over again. So I thought I'd throw some more words at you, because I know you've all missed me so much. However, bedtime approaches, so let's not get crazy.
1) It's always best for me to get my current obsession out of the way with the first bullet point, so here goes: Doctor Who. I know guys. It's one of my geekier obsessions. But I don't even care, because it is SO GOOD. It's been in my Netflix instant queue for awhile, because I just had a sneaky suspicion that anything that had such a monstrously huge fanbase, and featured skinny British geniuses saving the world, would probably be my undoing. Especially given my recent obsession with Sherlock, which is very much tied to Doctor Who for Stephen Moffat reasons that nobody cares about. Anyway, I was overwhelmed by the billions of seasons of the show, and didn't know where to start. But then my friend and yours, Lauren Bernardo, solved that problem for me by having Leah and I watch The Eleventh Hour, the first episode of the newest Doctor's reign. Matt Smith is the newest Doctor, and holy craaaaaaaap I am in love with him. It really took me by surprise. Though it really shouldn't have. And I love his companions, Amy and Rory Williams/Pond, though we are rapidly approaching the fall of the Ponds and OH MY GOD NOBODY CARES BUT I CAN'T STOP CARING. It's great. Whatever. Here's a picture:
For the record I got way to carried away google imaging for that one, and now I've got all sorts of stuff to share with Leah.
2) I think I may be dying. What kind of deadly disease could it be if you burp a lot? I've never been a burper, can't even do it on command, so I don't really know what to do with myself now. And I feel like I once read that burping is an unexpected side effect of, like, a heart attack, or brain hemorrhage, or parkinson's disease, or something. We shall see.
3) It's fall! I love fall! It's so pretty and smells good and Ican eat soups and casseroles all the time. Fall!
4) Ever since Labor Day, I have lost all concept of what day of the week it is. I have no idea when or where I am, or where I'm supposed to be, at any given time. But oddly enough it has made my Mondays suck less.
5) New TV starts soon/has already started. i made up my regular comprehensive TV schedule. I'm not sure there's that many new shows I'm interested in, but I am definitely happy to see the return of some oldies but goodies. Whyyyyyy do I have to wait until October for American Horror Story?!
Eh, I've run out of things, at the moment. Had to make 2-5 short to make up for 1. Who am I kidding, I lost interest after 1. Anyway, it's bedtime for all the little Colleens in the world, so we'll have to continue this later. But I will! I swear! The trickiest part is breaking back into it after a long absence. But here I am, and here, hopefully, I shall return. Shortly.
Goodnight.
1) It's always best for me to get my current obsession out of the way with the first bullet point, so here goes: Doctor Who. I know guys. It's one of my geekier obsessions. But I don't even care, because it is SO GOOD. It's been in my Netflix instant queue for awhile, because I just had a sneaky suspicion that anything that had such a monstrously huge fanbase, and featured skinny British geniuses saving the world, would probably be my undoing. Especially given my recent obsession with Sherlock, which is very much tied to Doctor Who for Stephen Moffat reasons that nobody cares about. Anyway, I was overwhelmed by the billions of seasons of the show, and didn't know where to start. But then my friend and yours, Lauren Bernardo, solved that problem for me by having Leah and I watch The Eleventh Hour, the first episode of the newest Doctor's reign. Matt Smith is the newest Doctor, and holy craaaaaaaap I am in love with him. It really took me by surprise. Though it really shouldn't have. And I love his companions, Amy and Rory Williams/Pond, though we are rapidly approaching the fall of the Ponds and OH MY GOD NOBODY CARES BUT I CAN'T STOP CARING. It's great. Whatever. Here's a picture:
 |
| "If we're going to die, let's do it looking like a Peruvian folk band." |
2) I think I may be dying. What kind of deadly disease could it be if you burp a lot? I've never been a burper, can't even do it on command, so I don't really know what to do with myself now. And I feel like I once read that burping is an unexpected side effect of, like, a heart attack, or brain hemorrhage, or parkinson's disease, or something. We shall see.
3) It's fall! I love fall! It's so pretty and smells good and Ican eat soups and casseroles all the time. Fall!
4) Ever since Labor Day, I have lost all concept of what day of the week it is. I have no idea when or where I am, or where I'm supposed to be, at any given time. But oddly enough it has made my Mondays suck less.
5) New TV starts soon/has already started. i made up my regular comprehensive TV schedule. I'm not sure there's that many new shows I'm interested in, but I am definitely happy to see the return of some oldies but goodies. Whyyyyyy do I have to wait until October for American Horror Story?!
Eh, I've run out of things, at the moment. Had to make 2-5 short to make up for 1. Who am I kidding, I lost interest after 1. Anyway, it's bedtime for all the little Colleens in the world, so we'll have to continue this later. But I will! I swear! The trickiest part is breaking back into it after a long absence. But here I am, and here, hopefully, I shall return. Shortly.
Goodnight.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
On The Eve Of My 26th Birthday
Here I am, less than an hour from turning 26 years old. 26 is a baffling age to me. That means I am unquestionably an adult. I am certainly not where I ever imagined I'd be by the age of 26. I'm tempted to return to that place of panic and depression, but birthdays (and birthday-eves) are not the time for that.
So, instead, here are 26 things I'm thankful for, as I turn 26:
1. Short hair. God, getting my hair cut short was the best decision I've made in years. I wish I hadn't waited so long. I feel freeeeee!
2. My legs. They have carried me so much farther than I ever would have thought in this newfound running endeavor. I mean, not that far, but they did not collapse under me immediately, which is better than I expected. They are strong, long, and they don't look to bad in shorts and skirts, if I do say so myself.
3. Chicago. I have never been there. I would love to go someday. But I admire the city for contributing so many great things to pop culture and my general enjoyment, and so many attractive men to the world.
4. Yoga Pants. I could wear them every day.
5. Netflix. Making me more hip and in-the-know. Helping me fool people into falling for my pop-culture omniscience.
6. England. Remember that speech Hugh Grant makes in Love Actually, about all the reasons England is great? Well, ditto. I would also like to add to that list Love Actually itself, Will and Kate, Prince Hot Ginge, The 2012 Olympics, Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock, Jubilees, Royal Weddings, British accents, and Harry Potter, again.
7. Music, new and old. I don't even buy music anymore. I am super out-of-touch with what's on the radio, for the most part, and half of what I have heard I don't like. But some old favorites, namely John Mayer and Regina Spektor, have come back into my life recently, in a big way. I haven't lost faith in everything entirely.
8. Talented People. Thank you, talented actors, musicians, writers, dancers, etc. Thank you for being so passionate about what you do, and for inspiring me. You tickle the muse in the back of my brain, and make me want to do and create beautiful things. Thanks for keeping me going.
9. Cinnamon Buns. For being so warm, gooey, and delicious.
10. Water. For keeping me hydrated, making me feel healthier, and making me look better. Also, for swimming, watering my plants, and keeping me cool.
11. Nature. For being so pretty.
12. My Parents. For being cooler than their ages would let you believe. For tolerating me. For amusing me, and for being amused by me. For loving me, and supporting me, and thinking the best of me. For dreaming my dreams for me, and believing I can achieve them.
13. Good Scary Things. Stephen King, American Horror Story, etc. Thanks for maintaining just the right level of creepiness for my taste.
14. Literature. For continuing to surprise me.
15. Wine. For being the happiest drink to drink. See Also: Champagne.
16. Love. For continuing to exist, and making me want to find you. For dangling in front of me like a carrot that's really really far away from the donkey.
17. Priorities. For sorting yourselves out, sometimes. For making me realize that some things can wait, much as I may not want them to.
18. The Internet. For keeping me busy, connected, and inspired. I hate and love that I do not know how I ever lived without you.
19. June. For being such a fun, busy, and pretty month. And my month, for the first eight days, anyway.
20. France. For continuing to be the dream, the ideal.
21. Luck. For keeping me from dying in a horrifically tragic car accident. So far.
22. My sister. We are so wonderfully different, and delightfully alike. For making me so happy just for you to come over and do laundry on the weekend. For being my sounding board, my reality check. For proving yourself time and time again over the alternative. For demonstrating what family really is.
23. Daydreams. For staying unrealistic, and keeping me out of the doldrums with the unlikely but sure insistence that I was meant for greater things.
24. The 27.3 lbs I've lost since January. I so wanted to make it to thirty by my birthday. But you know what? 27.3 is nothing to sneeze at. I did this myself, for the first time. I took control of my life, and stopped looking for an easy way out. I worked hard, I AM working hard, and my routine has changed enough that I'm confident I will continue to work hard. I've proven I can do anything if I put my mind to it. It's all about deciding it's time.
25. My 25th year, for being a test. My hardest, saddest, most frustrating year yet. But this year is behind me now. It will be a story I will tell, an experience I will learn from. I will be better, I am getting better every day. I WILL make it an uphill journey from here.
26. My friends. For being my friends. My readers, my supporters, my entertainers, my listeners, my distraction, my reality check, my reassurance. I try and fail to express how much you mean to me, particularly how much you've all meant to me over the past year. I have been so focused on myself this year, I have not been a very good friend. I'm taking steps to change that. I can't wait to see how our bonds and relationships continue to grow and change over the years. I love you all.
Happy Birthday to me!
So, instead, here are 26 things I'm thankful for, as I turn 26:
1. Short hair. God, getting my hair cut short was the best decision I've made in years. I wish I hadn't waited so long. I feel freeeeee!
2. My legs. They have carried me so much farther than I ever would have thought in this newfound running endeavor. I mean, not that far, but they did not collapse under me immediately, which is better than I expected. They are strong, long, and they don't look to bad in shorts and skirts, if I do say so myself.
3. Chicago. I have never been there. I would love to go someday. But I admire the city for contributing so many great things to pop culture and my general enjoyment, and so many attractive men to the world.
4. Yoga Pants. I could wear them every day.
5. Netflix. Making me more hip and in-the-know. Helping me fool people into falling for my pop-culture omniscience.
6. England. Remember that speech Hugh Grant makes in Love Actually, about all the reasons England is great? Well, ditto. I would also like to add to that list Love Actually itself, Will and Kate, Prince Hot Ginge, The 2012 Olympics, Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock, Jubilees, Royal Weddings, British accents, and Harry Potter, again.
7. Music, new and old. I don't even buy music anymore. I am super out-of-touch with what's on the radio, for the most part, and half of what I have heard I don't like. But some old favorites, namely John Mayer and Regina Spektor, have come back into my life recently, in a big way. I haven't lost faith in everything entirely.
8. Talented People. Thank you, talented actors, musicians, writers, dancers, etc. Thank you for being so passionate about what you do, and for inspiring me. You tickle the muse in the back of my brain, and make me want to do and create beautiful things. Thanks for keeping me going.
9. Cinnamon Buns. For being so warm, gooey, and delicious.
10. Water. For keeping me hydrated, making me feel healthier, and making me look better. Also, for swimming, watering my plants, and keeping me cool.
11. Nature. For being so pretty.
12. My Parents. For being cooler than their ages would let you believe. For tolerating me. For amusing me, and for being amused by me. For loving me, and supporting me, and thinking the best of me. For dreaming my dreams for me, and believing I can achieve them.
13. Good Scary Things. Stephen King, American Horror Story, etc. Thanks for maintaining just the right level of creepiness for my taste.
14. Literature. For continuing to surprise me.
15. Wine. For being the happiest drink to drink. See Also: Champagne.
16. Love. For continuing to exist, and making me want to find you. For dangling in front of me like a carrot that's really really far away from the donkey.
17. Priorities. For sorting yourselves out, sometimes. For making me realize that some things can wait, much as I may not want them to.
18. The Internet. For keeping me busy, connected, and inspired. I hate and love that I do not know how I ever lived without you.
19. June. For being such a fun, busy, and pretty month. And my month, for the first eight days, anyway.
20. France. For continuing to be the dream, the ideal.
21. Luck. For keeping me from dying in a horrifically tragic car accident. So far.
22. My sister. We are so wonderfully different, and delightfully alike. For making me so happy just for you to come over and do laundry on the weekend. For being my sounding board, my reality check. For proving yourself time and time again over the alternative. For demonstrating what family really is.
23. Daydreams. For staying unrealistic, and keeping me out of the doldrums with the unlikely but sure insistence that I was meant for greater things.
24. The 27.3 lbs I've lost since January. I so wanted to make it to thirty by my birthday. But you know what? 27.3 is nothing to sneeze at. I did this myself, for the first time. I took control of my life, and stopped looking for an easy way out. I worked hard, I AM working hard, and my routine has changed enough that I'm confident I will continue to work hard. I've proven I can do anything if I put my mind to it. It's all about deciding it's time.
25. My 25th year, for being a test. My hardest, saddest, most frustrating year yet. But this year is behind me now. It will be a story I will tell, an experience I will learn from. I will be better, I am getting better every day. I WILL make it an uphill journey from here.
26. My friends. For being my friends. My readers, my supporters, my entertainers, my listeners, my distraction, my reality check, my reassurance. I try and fail to express how much you mean to me, particularly how much you've all meant to me over the past year. I have been so focused on myself this year, I have not been a very good friend. I'm taking steps to change that. I can't wait to see how our bonds and relationships continue to grow and change over the years. I love you all.
Happy Birthday to me!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Walt Grace's Submarine Test, January 1967
Walt Grace, desperately hating his whole place,
Dreamed to discover a new space,
And buried himself alive,
Inside his basement, tongue on the side of his face when,
He's working away on displacement,
And what it would take to survive.
'Cause when you're done with this world,
You know the next is up to you.
And his wife told his kids he was crazy,
And his friends said he'd fail if he tried,
But with a will to work hard,
And a library card,
He took a homemade, fan-blade, one-man submarine ride.
That morning, the sea was mad and I mean it,
Waves as big as he'd seen it,
Deep in his dreams at home.
From dry land,
He rolled it over to wet sand,
Closed the hatch up with one hand,
And paddled off alone.
'Cause when you're done with this world,
You know the next is up to you.
And for once in his life it was quiet,
As he learned how to turn in the tide,
And the sky was a flare,
When he came up for air,
In his homemade, fan-blade, one-man submarine ride.
One evening,
When weeks had passed since his leaving,
The call she'd planned on receiving,
Finally made it home.
She accepted,
The news she'd never expected,
The operator connected,
A call from Tokyo.
'Cause when you're done with this world,
You know the next is up to you.
Now his friends,
Bring him up when they're drinking,
At the bar with his name on the side,
And they smile when they can,
As they speak of a man,
Who took a homemade,
Fan-blade, one-man submarine ride.
I am OBSESSED with this song. Obsessed. I cannot tell you why. I also cannot tell you why it makes me cry, because if there's anything I've learned in the last year, it's that my crying sensors are completely broken.
Oh, Walt Grace. I'm taking my library card on a submarine ride to Tokyo and away from this miserable place.
Also, John Fucking Mayer. I can't quit you. And I don't want to.
Dreamed to discover a new space,
And buried himself alive,
Inside his basement, tongue on the side of his face when,
He's working away on displacement,
And what it would take to survive.
'Cause when you're done with this world,
You know the next is up to you.
And his wife told his kids he was crazy,
And his friends said he'd fail if he tried,
But with a will to work hard,
And a library card,
He took a homemade, fan-blade, one-man submarine ride.
That morning, the sea was mad and I mean it,
Waves as big as he'd seen it,
Deep in his dreams at home.
From dry land,
He rolled it over to wet sand,
Closed the hatch up with one hand,
And paddled off alone.
'Cause when you're done with this world,
You know the next is up to you.
And for once in his life it was quiet,
As he learned how to turn in the tide,
And the sky was a flare,
When he came up for air,
In his homemade, fan-blade, one-man submarine ride.
One evening,
When weeks had passed since his leaving,
The call she'd planned on receiving,
Finally made it home.
She accepted,
The news she'd never expected,
The operator connected,
A call from Tokyo.
'Cause when you're done with this world,
You know the next is up to you.
Now his friends,
Bring him up when they're drinking,
At the bar with his name on the side,
And they smile when they can,
As they speak of a man,
Who took a homemade,
Fan-blade, one-man submarine ride.
I am OBSESSED with this song. Obsessed. I cannot tell you why. I also cannot tell you why it makes me cry, because if there's anything I've learned in the last year, it's that my crying sensors are completely broken.
Oh, Walt Grace. I'm taking my library card on a submarine ride to Tokyo and away from this miserable place.
Also, John Fucking Mayer. I can't quit you. And I don't want to.
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