Unemployment has not been as bad as I thought it would be. In part because I was absolutely miserable at my last job. However, now that I am approaching one month of unemployment, I'm being hit with reminders of just how convenient it was being employed, even miserably.
1) Prescriptions.
I don't have any serious diseases that require life-saving medication. However, I do have prescriptions that I refill every month, that make my life a lot easier. Namely, allergy medicine, and several acne medications. My acne is just horrendously ugly and painful and awful without it, but I can't very well afford what will probably amount to $250/month without insurance for acne medications. It's been so nice for these last two years, actually feeling like a pretty adult, rather than a miserable acne-riddled teenager. And as much as I like to think that my skin has outgrown it, I know it hasn't. Unfortunately, I worry my pizza face will make me even less hireable than I already am.
2) Money.
The convenience of money is not a surprise to me. However, mid-month it seems like I can do okay, and stretch out what I have, if I just don't shop or go to the movies or out to eat very much. But then I reach the beginning of the month, when I have to pay my student loans, which takes a massive chunk out of my savings. And my credit card bill, for which I am still paying off books I bought back in college. Awesome. And Christmas is coming up, and as much as my family would say I don't have to get them anything, I'm not going to be the 26 year old adult that can't afford Christmas gifts for her family. Especially when there's only the four of us.
It's such a sad realization that everything in my life has become about money. I can't even remember the last time I made a decision that wasn't about money. And the saddest part is, I don't foresee a future for myself where this isn't a problem. I did myself a great disservice by going to 2 expensive private schools, and choosing a major that is not useful in the working world. And without the luxury of a spouse or even any kind of significant other, I am going to have to support myself for the rest of my life. I don't get to follow my dreams, or do something I enjoy. I have to find something, anything, that will make me money. Anyone that will hire me.
There are two things that would solve 99.99999% of my problems right now:
1) Winning the lottery.
2) Finding something I want to do with my life. So simple, and yet no luck in 26 years.
Blaaaaaaaaaaah.
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