NaNoWriMo: A Reflection

So today, November 30^th, is the last day of National Novel Writing Month, otherwise known as NaNoWriMo, otherwise known as November.  I first heard of NaNoWriMo in early 2011, and tried my hand at it last November.  I ended up opening a word document on November 1^st, typing the sentence “I am writing a fucking novel.” And then did nothing else for the rest of the month.  So really, almost anything would have been an improvement on last year’s performance.

In fact, all in all this month, I have written 33,246 words.  It’s not the generally accepted NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words, but it is still sooooo much better than I ever thought I would do.  I mean, it’s 64 pages.  I have never written 64 pages of any one document, ever.  The closest I’ve ever come was 43 pages of a YA novel for my Young Adult Fiction class in college, and I was impressed with myself for that.

NaNoWriMo kind of crept up on me this year.  I only remembered it on like the last day or so of October, when I got a reminder email from the NaNoWriMo website, and thought, shit.  I had intended to do some more preparation beforehand, mapping out some story ideas and whatnot, but I obviously hadn’t done that, so I’d just have to dive right in.

My first year, I intended to adhere strictly to NaNoWriMo’s official rules: Write all one story, in order, no skipping around, no revisions.  I think the pressure of sticking to the rules overwhelmed me and stopped me in my tracks.  This year my goal was less specific: just write.  Write every day, if possibly, but at the very least write a lot.  Write as much as you can.  Write anything.  Just vomit words onto the page.  Even if they don’t make sense.  So that’s what I did.  I had some different story ideas, and wrote out some different scenes and short stories and analyses and anecdotes and dialogues, etc.  I even included some blog posts and super-long emails, for good measure.  Because writing is writing, dude.  And I didn’t want to put myself in the position of choosing between writing a blog post and keeping in touch with my friends, or writing crap just to write.  So I counted that writing towards my total word count.  Because I do what I want.

It was also freeing to just write without worrying about it being perfect.  I wrote entire scenes that were just dialogue, without worrying about inserting the annoying, “She said, wearily.” and all that nonsense.  I changed pronouns and tenses midway through a story.  I changed character names (which I have, admittedly, been known to do in the past, and then forget to go back and change it, causing much confusion for teachers/professors grading my papers.) and other general details.

So how do I feel now, at the end of the month?  I feel good, I feel accomplished.  I wrote a shit-ton of words.  I proved to myself that I can write, whether I feel like it or not, whether I’m in the mood or not, or whether my muses are speaking to me or not.  I also proved to myself that I am capable of just producing that amount of writing.  It seemed impossible, on November 1^st, to write anywhere near 50,000 words.  Just an impossible feat.  And yet, at 33k, I know that if I really applied myself, I could definitely do it.  Which is just bonkers to think about.  Writing at length has always been my problem.  I dream of writing the Next Great American Novel, and yet I am the Queen of short Stories.  But here I am, at 63 pages.

But I also learned some other things. I learned that although all the writers say that you have to write every day, whether you’re feeling inspired or not, the stuff I write when I’m feeling uninspired is, frankly, crap.  And it does not come easy.  When I’m in a writing muse, and feel inspired, I just keep writing and writing and before I know it I’m at 4000 words, and it seems like no time has passed, and I still have so much more to say.  Whereas when I have no inspiration, I check the word count every other sentence, and one paragraph can take me 2 hours.  Ugh.

But I have proven to myself that I can be a writer.  I can sit down at my desk, and plug away for a few hours each night, and create something.  Now that the month is over, and the late late nights and word counts are behind me, I hope to be able to continue to be creative on a regular basis.  To blog, to write short stories, maybe try at a novel, and continue some projects I have left unfinished.

I look forward to next year’s NaNoWriMo.  My goal for that will be to stick to one single story, but that will require some more forethought on my part.  We’ll see.  I hope to be in a different mind space and different physical space this time next year, so hopefully all of that will be more conducive to writing.  We shall see.

Anyway, thanks for bearing with me this month, and listening to my boring writing talk, and my word counts, and dealing with my daily tweet updates.  When I write my first best-selling novel, I will be sure to dedicate it to each and every one of you.  Specifically.