Someone's Been Reading My Diary

Everyone knows that American Idol is my bitch lover.  Actually, it's the other way around.  I am American Idol's bitch lover, for sure.  Few things make me more angry, and inspire me to spew angry, hateful words at strangers, but god dammit I just can't quit you, Idol.

Well, this year, they've taken a new approach to hook me: the contestants are singing all of my favorite songs.  Literally every single one of them.  Songs that nobody else likes.  Songs that nobody's heard in years.  Songs that have never ever been performed on the show before.  And yet week after week, Ryan announces what song they're singing, and then I have about .2 seconds to absorb this information and freak out, before the performance starts.

Here's just a taste of my favorites.  And let it be said that these are not just songs that I like, these are songs that at one point or another, I have listened to on repeat on a Walkman, or watched over and over again on YouTube.  These songs make me happy, sad, remind me of people, places, and things.

Volcano - Damien Rice
U Got It Bad - Usher
Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx
I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt
Ready For Love - India. Arie
Eternal Flame - The Bangles

But this week....this week was my undoing.  Phillips Phillips.  Dear God, that irresistible country boy.  He sang We've Got Tonight by Bob Seger.  That song.....I love that song for multiple reasons.  It has long been at the tippy top of my list of songs for someone to dear god please sing on Idol.  And if I can direct you to the following excerpt from this very blog, on March 28th of last year (Happy 25th Birthday Leah!):

So aaaaaaaanyway, while listening to the best hits of the 80s 90s and today on Y94FM yesterday, I heard "Why Don't You Stay" [Ed. Note: Apparently this is not the actual title.  My bad.] by....I think Bob Seger. And god damn if that wouldn't just make a fantastic Idol song. Why, you ask? Let me tell you. Imagine it's the final weeks of Idol, and two contestants, be they secretly pining for one another, or just super close friends after all their backstage bonding in the mansion, sing a duet of "Why Don't You Stay". Sample lyrics: "We've got tonight, who needs tomorrow/ We've got tonight babe, why don't you stay" Reading between the lines: "We've got tonight [This is so great! We're on TV! With JLo! We live in a mansion! Everything is awesome!], who needs tomorrow [Fuck elimination night, WE'RE CELEBRITIES! We're gonna live forever like the kids from Fame!]/ We've got tonight babe, why don't you stay [how about you NOT get voted off, so that we can throw a huge rave in the mansion this weekend?]" Because if I were on Idol, my song choices would be lousy with clever secret messages. Because I would be the greatest Idol contestant of all time. I've worked it out to a science. If only I can find a lovesick mermaid whose beautiful singing voice I can steal.

So....that's not how it played out at all.  Only because I was not there to be the fellow contestant that Phillip is sleeping with behind the producer's backs, but shares an undeniable onstage chemistry. BUT he actually SANG the song, and he KILLED it.  Slayed it.  Like a dragon slayer.  Or a vampire slayer, if you will.  It was really the first song he outright sang on the show, without really Phillip-izing it.  And he was obviously a little nervous about it, because he kept STROKING HIS THIGH continuously throughout the performance.

His performance closed the show and brought the house down.  I had already resigned myself to Phillip going home this week, and rightfully so, because Jessica and Joshua are both AMAZING vocalists.  And in Idol situations like this, I don't even vote, because they are all so good.  But after he did this...I had to vote for Phillip.  And it seems the rest of America felt the same way, and voted him into the finals, sending Joshua home (Which I am super sad about.)

Anyway here it is.  Be still my beating lusting heart:



P.S. - Let it be said now, that if ANYONE sings After All by Cher and Peter Cetera in next week's finals, someone please tell my parents I love them, because I will be dead.

A Day of Small(er) Victories

My first victory was a successful run this morning.  Only round one of C25k, but I felt much more optimistic than I have in the last few weeks.

So I've been feeling frustrated lately, because even though I've lost 25 lbs, I haven't gone down a clothing size, which seems....wrong.  Unfortunately, the body areas that are keeping me in the larger sizes are not shrinking as fast as other areas.  But today I has the brainstorm to try on my bridesmaid's dress from Leah and Lauren's wedding in October, right before I started my fitness adventure.  And it was fitted tight under the bust, possibly too tight, because I have a tendency to overdo it with alterations.

But TODAY it was so big!  Sooooo much extra room at the waist.  And at the boobs too!  And this was with no Spanx on, which I was definitely sporting at the wedding.

After that, on a whim, I decided to try on my "goal" dress I bought in February.  When I was shopping at Label Shopper for Teddi clothes in February (I know, I'm so classy), I found this SUPER adorable dress that I bought because I thought it was so pretty, and such a bargain, and made it my goal to fit in it to wear it to Jeff and Katelyn's wedding in August.  I've tried it on several times since then and it has been nowhere remotely close to zipping, and I'd pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I probably wouldn't make it by August, not even close.

But I was so stoked after I tried on my bridesmaid's dress, that I decided to give my goal dress a try, and....IT ZIPPED!  With no Spanx!  I don't even know how it's possible, because it was so far from zipping every other time I've tried it on.  And it wasn't without some effort this time, but still, IT ZIPPED!  Granted, I have a long way to go before it's actually wearable, but I am just beyond happy.

If my resolve was wavering at all, today totally put me back on track.  I have never in my life worked so hard to accomplish something, of my own accord, and here it is, actually working!  I can't believe it.

Happy Happy Happy.

Friday Five

I'm going to try this approach to blogging, to at least get some sort of post up once a week.  I'm stealing the idea from one of my favorite authors Sarah Dessen, who is great and has a blog of her very own.  Just five random things that may not be enough to make a whole blog post about, but compiled all into one, works just fine.  I already foresee that I am too wordy to make my Friday Five as effective as hers, but I shall try.

1) Guys, I have become obsessed with the BBC show Sherlock.  If you know me at all, you know how easily and EXTREMELY I obsess over things, and I have really jumped into this one head-first.  I've had it in my Netflix queue for awhile, and have been meaning to watch it, and finally got around to it this week. There are only 2 seasons in existence, each only three 88-minute episodes.  Season one is on Netflix, and season 2 is currently showing on PBS.  Anyway, Season One ended with a wicked cliffhanger, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to watch Season 2 episode 1, because it's not on Netflix yet, and it had already aired on PBS, but in the end I found it online and it was the BEST EPISODE YET.  Benedict Cumberbatch, (who, I cannot say it enough, has the greatest name in the history of names) is so so so great as Sherlock.  He's like if Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory and Shawn Spencer from Psych had an ornery fully-grown British man-child.  AND THEN Dr. Watson is played by Martin Freeman, who's been in a bunch of British things, but MOST IMPORTANTLY was in Love Actually, as the guy who was in all the nude/sex scenes, and fell in love with his co-star while, like, humping and groping her, and then they went on to have an adorable sweet innocent puppy love relationship.  Anyway, he is also great. How about a picture, because everyone loves visual aids:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

2) I have been going through a pretty heavy Prince phase recently.  This may come as a surprise to you, because if you are like everyone else in the world, you do not listen to Prince at all.  I know he had a wildly successful career at one point, but obviously all of his fans have died tragically since then, because I don't know anyone else who likes Prince as much as I do, and I am only a moderate fan.  Anyway, an interesting thing happens when I listen to Prince.  For anyone who's ever seen the movie Heart and Souls, you know how Alfre Woodard's ghost zaps into Robert Downey Jr's body, and he is overtaken by the spirit of an overly sassy black woman and it's all funny ha ha hilarious?  Well, when I am listening to Prince, I feel like tiny little Prince crawls inside of my body, and then is performing the songs through me.  I get...embarrassingly into it.  Especially when I'm singing along in the car.  Especially for two particular lines: "The ride is so smooth, you must be a limousine" in Little Red Corvette, and the last "Ain't no particular sign I'm compatable with" in Kiss.  Those lyrics probably don't mean anything to you, but you should probably listen to the songs and you'll get some idea of how foolish I sound.  Particularly the line from Kiss, because I didn't actually know what the words were until I just looked them up, so it's always been me shrieking "AIN'T NO PAH-TICULAH SAH AHHH AHHH COBAAAAAAA WAWAAAAAAAA" at ear-splitting levels.

3) So I'm still doing the Couch 2 5k program.  have I mentioned that yet?  Well I am.  It is hard.  I am by no means a runner.  But I've developed a surprising amount of resolve somewhere in the last 6 months, so I have no desire to quit yet.  Hopefully it won't kill me, and I will be an awesome runner in time.

4) I'm really enjoying me some American Idol lately.  Though this is by no means my favorite season, or my favorite group of contestants, I really feel this group has the best singers....possibly ever.  Jessica Sanchez, who is only 16, is freakin amazing.  A-MAH-ZING.  I'm pretty much blown away by her every performance.  Joshua Ledet is also amazing.  He sang the shit out of "It's A Man's Man's Man's World" this week.  It was one of those things where, in the middle of the song, I thought we had reached the big climactic part of the song, and it was over, and then OH MY GOD he just kept going and it was amazing.  My personal favorite, however, is Phillip Phillips.  Yes, I know, the name.  But I am outrageously attracted to him.  Basically, Dave Matthews has crawled inside the body of a skinny Georgia boy, much like Alfre Woodard crawled inside RDJ, but it is a WONDERFUL combination.  And he has an uncanny ability to choose all of my favorite songs to perform.  And then for a duet number this week, he and Joshua sang This Love by Maroon 5, and they KNOWINGLY gave Phillip all the dirty parts, and I just....I can't be in the same room with my parents while he's singing about keeping her coming every night...I can't.  I am but a mere human.  Another visual (and...aural?) aid....here's Phillip Phillips performing You Got It Bad by Usher (Usher = a past example of an artist i was obsessed with that NO ONE ELSE liked.)



As an addendum to this, I'd like to point out that there is a point near the end of almost all of Phillip's performances where his eyes roll back his head, and he gets a big grin on his face, and kind of bobs his head around.  You can kind of see it here at 1:40.  Anyway, I'm pretty sure this means he's probably a homicidal lunatic, but I inexplicably find it to be the hottest thing I have ever seen.  Probably because I am super attracted to homicidal lunatics.  Anyway, ?I just want to crawl inside his mouth and live there.

5)  Maybe I'll just make this the Friday Four, because I can't think of a fifth thing, and I talked a lot about other things.  How about a Friday Fun Fact: Whoopi Goldberg has no eyebrows.  Discuss.

MUPPET BABIES!

....and 6 weird things about them.

Guys, HOW could I have forgotten about Skeeter?  All these years!  WHAT HAPPENED TO SKEETER?!

My Emotional Problems on the Big Screen

So, this evening I watched the movie Dan In Real Life.  I had it on my Netflix queue, because a bunch of people said it was great, and as a general rule I love everything with Steve Carell.  I wasn't super psyched to see it, but my queue got all out of order, so there it was.  Anyway, those of you that follow me on twitter may have noticed that I had a somewhat negative reaction* to it.

*Understatement.

This movie gave me a similar awful, rage-filled reaction that I've experienced a few times before, when it comes to movies, and I think I may have finally pinpointed what the issue is, and how it pertains to my life.

I hate, HATE, in movies when the protagonist is having a hard time, is struggling with dealing with various things that are going on in their life, and every other character tells them to basically get over it, they don't really have any real problems, they're over-reacting, etc.  Basically, everyone just shits all over this person's feelings, and tries to make them feel like an incompetent child that doesn't know how to feel feelings correctly.

The first reaction time I ever experienced this in a movie was in 27 Dresses.  A pretty innocuous film, for the most part.  But you may remember the part where Katherine Heigl's sister, who is getting married, has their dead mother's wedding dress cut to bits to add here and there on her own stupid wedding dress (which she intends to wear to marry George, Katherine's years-long crush, but whatever).  Cut to the engagement party, or rehearsal dinner, whatever it is, and Katherine puts together a scathing slideshow outing her sister as a tacky liar in front of George, and all of their friends and family.  Now, her sister had built her entire relationship with George out of lies, and treated her sister, and really everyone like shit for the entire movie, and then she DESTROYED THEIR MOTHER'S WEDDING DRESS, THAT KATHERINE HEIGL HAD INTENDED TO WEAR AT HER OWN WEDDING.  And yet somehow, Katherine's slideshow stunt is, like, the meanest thing anyone's ever seen, and suddenly she's the bad guy.  And she ends up apologizing to her sister, and marrying James Marsden who is way cuter anyway, and everyone lives happily ever after.

BUT SERIOUSLY?!  I mean, her sister's lies and man-stealing and everything else aside, she cut up her mother's wedding dress, and did not have an inkling of a thought that this might be the wrong thing to do.  If I were Katherine Heigl's character, I would have murderered her on the spot.  Right in the bridal salon.  Strangled her with the mangled remains of my mother's wedding dress.  How DARE anyone criticize Katherine Heigl's character for her well-deserved Slideshow of Revenge, after all the shit she had to put up with?  The YEARS of people taking advantage of her, walking all over her?

The last time, and probably most powerful negative reaction to a film, was Bridesmaids.  I know, I know, greatest/funniest movie anyone's ever seen, blah blah blah.  And I don't disagree that there was plenty of hilarity.  But....uh....remember all the parts where Kristen Wiig's life is terrible?  That was less funny.  Now, granted, I brought my own Emotional Maid-of-Honor Baggage to this movie, and also took issue with the fact that Kristen Wiig's life is terrible, and yet she is SLEEPING WITH JOHN HAMM and DATING ADORABLE INEXPLICABLY IRISH POLICEMEN, and I have never done either of those things, so I'm just left with the sucky parts of her life.  But, for example, when Rose Byrne gives Maya Rudolph the TRIP TO FRANCE FOR JUST THE TWO OF THEM, at the bridal shower?  I have seen this movie twice, and the second time, I had to leave the room during this part, and the ensuing shitstorm, because it is so upsetting to me.  Not because I love France, though I do.  But the idea that that rich bitch would take something she knew was so important to the friendship between these two girls, and steal it away from one of them?  Oh my god, if I had been Kristen Wiig's character, that bridal shower would have become a bloodbath.  Only the puppies would have survived.

And then she of course flips out and ruins the bridal shower.  But prior to that, she did everything she could, despite the fact that she was depressed and miserable and poor and her life was falling apart, to be the best possible maid-of-honor, and make the best possible wedding experience for her best friend.  And she screws it up, time and time again, through no fault of her own.  And yet NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.  After she flips out at the bridal shower, she is an absolute pariah, and only makes up with Maya just before her wedding.  Her maid of honor responsibilities were REVOKED from her, by her BEST FRIEND.  What a really shitting way of making everything about you, Maya.  So, somehow, the fact that everything is supposed to be so fucking hilarious while the main character's life is just one disappointment after the next, and nobody cares, was just horrible to me.  Did not make for an enjoyable movie-watching experience.

Finally, Dan In Real Life.  Basically, Steve Carell's wife died four years ago, and he is raising their three daughters by himself.  They go away for a weekend to his parents' house for a gigantic annual family gathering, and on their first morning there, Steve goes to a bookstore and ends up having a meet cute with a girl that ends up being his brother Dane Cook's girlfriend.  So Steve has to spend the rest of the time in agony as they're being all cute to each other, and the rest of the family falls in love with her.  She ends up breaking up with Dane Cook and leaving, because of the tension.  Then Steve goes to meet her and the family catches them kissing and Steve is suddenly the worst person in the world, and a disappointment to everyone.

The way Steve Carell's entire family treats him throughout this entire movie is absolutely terrible.  First of all, his wife died.  Four years ago, which is a while, but also not.  And he is raising these three girls (GIRLS!) all by himself, which can't be easy.  At various points in the movie, his family mocks him for being loveless, encouraging him to "get back out there", set him up on a blind date, but then are horrified to find that he has actually found someone he cares about.  Granted, it's not the ideal situation, but it's not like it was his brother's wife, it was his girlfriend.  And he resisted his feelings entirely until after they had broken up.  But before that, his family was coming down on him for his erratic and cranky behavior.  But never once does anyone ask him if he is really okay, how he's feeling, if he's having trouble with the girls, if he needs some help.  His wife died, for god's sake!  No one is concerned that he could be seriously depressed?  They just think he has a bad attitude?  That is absolutely horrible.

So I think the theme is pretty clear here.  People minimizing or altogether ignoring other people's feelings, depressions, problems, etc, is apparently super upsetting to me.  Last year, as I have made obvious through previous blogging, was a really shitty year for me.  The worst ever.  And I discovered that depression is a real thing, and is way more than just "sad" or "bummed out".  I hit some really low lows, and started to get really scared.  I even threw out some cries for help, which for the most part met with...nothing.  It was always "Oh, you're just PMS-ing", or "You're having a hard time adjusting" or "Just wait until the stress of all these weddings is over, and you'll be fine" or my very favorite, "You're just jealous that everyone's getting married."  Now, for the most part, I've always been a pretty happy-go-lucky person.  I haven't experienced many real problems or traumas or tragedies in my life, so I haven't had any real experience with depression.  It's not that I didn't think it was a real thing exactly, but I thought it happened to people who were much more fragile and weak than me.  For the most part, when I am frustrated or upset about something, I keep it inside, because I am not good with confrontation, and because I don't like dumping my issues in everyone else's laps, when I realize that everyone has problems of their own to deal with.  So here I was, having some really negative depressive thoughts, and concerned enough about it to actually bring it to people's attention, and basically just got a big ol' "get over it."  Which is pretty much the worst thing you can do.  Now, eventually I was able to pick myself up, brush myself off, and kind of get back to life.  I am doing considerably better now, but seeing as none of the factors that lead to my depression have changed, I realize I am always thisclose to ending up right back there were I was.  And what then?

In conclusion, maybe I should just stick to comedies for awhile.  No, that apparently doesn't work.  Maybe just Disney movies.  Or The Hunger Games.

**I should mention, because I feel like I always need to add this, that this is not directed at anyone that reads this blog.  I don't want anyone to think I am guilting them over missing my cries for help.  It was primarily my family that missed them all.

So Many Shades of Grey

Hi gang!  I know, I know, I have been just terrible at blogging lately.  I don't know why.  Well, I do, I've been kinda busy.  And haven't really had much to say.

Let me first say that I am sorry my last post was so miserable.  I have been doing super well at not being miserable, like I was last year.  Yet for some reason, I recently hit a week where I was just that same kind of gut-wrenching, inescapably miserable as before.  No reason, either.  Nothing particularly bad happened, I wasn't pms-ing, yet for some reason, miserable.  Anyway, I'm over it now.  So that's good.

Secondly, I'm sorry I never reply to anyone's comments on here.  It is not because I don't read/appreciate them, but because Blogger for some reason does not want to ALLOW me to reply to anyone's comments.  But anyway, to answer the most recent questions, re: the freshly-painted living room...Gretchen and I do some sort of redecorating surprise whenever my parents go on one of their trips, so they did suspect that we would be doing something, but even more so suspected that we would paint the living room, because due to a recent massive wall repair, it desperately needed to be repainted.

Thirdly, I know I have not done a Hunger Games review yet.  That is because at first I was too overwhelmed and didn't know how to present my thoughts in a sensible manner.  And then I wasn't really interested in blogging.  And now too much time as passed and my fiery enthusiasm has dimmed somewhat, making for a less-exciting review.  BUT I am planning to re-read the book shortly, which will undoubtedly re-ignite my enthusiasm, and remind me of stuff I loved about the movie.  So I'll write up a review then.

Anyway, in current news, my dad had a hip replacement surgery this week. He is doing well, and being a surprisingly good patient.  But I think he loves being taken care of.  And it makes me happy to be able to sort of shower him with attention, because my mom and I are such drama queens, so we're always whining and making everything about us.  This is probably a nice change of pace.

I am, as I am sure I have mentioned before, hungry to get back out to Rochester.  I applied to a slew of Rochester jobs this weekend, so hopefully one of them will be fruitful.  Hopefully hopefully hopefully.  I really go through phases of just desperately daydreaming about living in Rochester.  Having a cute little apartment, hanging out with friends, going out to eat, seeing movies, etc etc.  As cheesy as it sounds, I'm ready to start living my life again.  I'm stuck on pause right now, and ready to move on.  Be a grown-up.

Hey, you know what I have to talk about?  This whole 50 Shades of Grey business.  I was initially indifferent to it, aside from being slightly amused that it was getting so much attention for being an erotic novel, when I imagine this is probably not the first erotic novel that has ever been written.  AND THEN I found out that it was actually a Twilight fanfiction story that the author changed the names and got published as a real book.  Then the whole sensation became hilarious.  I supported Jhole as she bought it during our shhopping trip, sure it would be right up her alley.  But since then, I am just sick of hearing about it.  My sister and her friends are reading it, and my mom wants to read it, all of which makes me super uncomfortable.  But also, it doesn't even sound interesting to me!  I mean, I consider myself a fanfiction connoisseur, and if we're going to turn fanfiction into real live books, this would not be my first choice! Nowhere near my first choice!  I mean, I can't say, because I haven't actually READ the book, but just the concept of  the innocent, virginal college girl, entering into this contractual sexual relationship with this cold, calculating businessman, who is a bajillionaire in his mid-20s, makes me roll my eyes.  It just seems super dumb and it makes me mad that it's so popular.  But it pretty much figures that I would froth at the mouth over teen wizards, and be totally disinterested in bondage.  Sigh.  I am a female Peter Pan.

Finally, who wants to hear the ridiculous dream I had last night?  Everyone?  Okay!

So I still lived in Rochester, and worked at StoreSmart.  I heard that at another building in Metro Park, there was some sort of American Idol event going on, and all of this season's contestants were there.  Well, naturally, I just left work in the middle of the day to check this out.  So I made my way over there, and there were just a whole bunch of people casually milling about, the Idols among them.  i just had to find them.  I somehow made it my mission to find Colton Dixon to tell him how shocked and disappointed I was that he was eliminated , and that he was my pick to win. [Ed. Note:  Not my favorite contestant, and not the one I thought should win, but the one I thought would win.  Now I am thrown for a loop.]  I ran into several contestants I didn't really care about, on my quest to find Colton, but then I found Phillip Phillips [Ed Note: ...who I LOVE!  OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.  Really.  It's taken me by complete surprise.  I mean, he has the same name, twice.  But, ugh.  Can't get enough.]  So, even though I loved Phillip Phillips just as much in my dream as I do in real life, I was distracted by my quest for Colton, and didn't expect to run into Phillip, and had no idea what to say.  So, for a moment, I just stared at him blankly, but then managed to get out something about how I loved him and thought he was great.  And he was very nice about it, and smiley, and flannel-y, and surprising TALL, which is a huge turn-on, so it was all in all wonderful.  After a brief visit with Phillip x 2 + s, I continued on my quest for Colton, who I did end up finding, and made a very dramatic and public declaration about the injustice of his premature elimination.  He seemed...taken aback, but pleased.  I am overwhelming sometimes.

Part two of the dream, I was at actor and Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson's house.  His parents' house, to be exact.  It was a really big mid-nineties-style house, and it was just me, JHutch, and a bunch of my Rochester and Fisher people.  We were apparently having some sort of party for the American Idol finale [Ed. Note: The idea of any of my friends actually agreeing to attend an American idol-themed party is actually the least-realistic thing that happened in this dream.] and there were food and drinks and general merriment.  We were watching Idol on a giant TV in the living room, and I excused myself during a commercial break to take a tinkle in the bathroom just off the living room.  I go about my business and flush, but instead of flushing, the toilet starts overflowing like crazy.  So I come out of the bathroom, already embarrassed about overflowing someone's toilet, because everyone will thing I took a massive poop, but additionally mortified because I had to tell Actor and Star of The Hunger Games Josh Hutcherson, who I had only recently befriended, that I had overflowed his toilet.  But I did so.  Much to my surprise, he starts flipping out in front of everybody, about how he has been so busy with all of these movies and promoting The Hunger Games, and he has been looking forward to relaxing at home with friends, but instead he has to spend the whole night cleaning up other people's messes.  I don't remember anything after this, so the sheer horror of it probably roused me from sleep.

So, what we've learned, is that while other people are always having super-erotic sexy dreams about celebrities, I dream about geeking out in front of them, startling them, and overflowing their toilets.  Why does my subconscious hate me?  Here's hoping some hotter dreams come my way tonight.

Here I Am

Here I am, blogging.  Apparently you all have missed me, as I keep being reminded that I have not been updating.  Although I don't really think it's fair to chastise me for not updating MY blog, because when's the last time any of you updated your blogs, OH THAT'S RIGHT YOU DON'T HAVE ONE.  Except for one of you (LEAH.) who hasn't updated your blog in the year 2012.  So I'll just go ahead and take as long as i want to update.  HA!

I unfortunately don't really have much to say at the moment.  I have been oddly busy, in that special way only i have of doing absolutely nothing with my life, yet somehow having no time to do ANYTHING.  Whatever.  Specifically, this week, my parents are vacationing in Portugal (wtf?!), and Gretchen and I are doing some work around the house, specifically painting our giant-ass living room.  In my mind, it is possible to paint an entire room in one day, but in actual practice, this is not at all possible.  IT has taken SO LONG, but the room looks really good now.  Hopefully my parents don't hate it.

I am also currently at war with technology.  My blackberry seems to want to stop living, and my computer is working very sporadically.  The phone difficulties are not helping the fact that I am hands down the worst phone call and text receiver and/or returner.  Don't think I am not aware of this.  I always miss everyone's phone calls.  I say I will call people back, and then completely forget.  In fact, writing this has reminded me that I was supposed to call someone this weekend, and did not.  Fuck.  You know what?  I'm ready for phone calls to be a thing of the past.  I am just sooooo tired of apologizing for missing phone calls.  I'm so tired of having to return phone calls from people that I'm not even interested in talking to.  I have never ever liked talking on the phone, with very few exceptions.

It is particularly trying, this past year or so, in which I am feeling particularly dissatisfied with my life, to have to carry on phone conversations with everyone about their marriage, engagement, new baby, great job, cool social life, vacation, house hunting, etc etc.  I have nothing of any interest to add, but I try to hard to make it a not one-sided conversation, and to make my life sound interesting, and fail.  I used to be able to fall back on all things pop culture, but I'm just not as cool and current and hip to those things any more, so I don't have quite so much to add.  The music everyone else is listening to, I haven't heard, and the tv shows everyone else loves, I don't like.  So give me a year or so, and hopefully things will turn around in my life a little bit, and I will be more enthusiastic about phone-talking.  And maybe I'll learn to be better about intercepting phone calls as well.

Also, I am aware that not wanting to talk on the phone because my life sucks makes me super selfish.  Sorry I'm not sorry.

I'm sorry I went on a rant there, again.  I swear 2012 is the year of me being less miserable and mostly succeeding at it, so don't worry, this isn't going to turn into a bitchy self-hating wrist-cutting blog again.  I just so happy to be very sleepy right now.

Aaaaaanywho, I am drafting a big ol' Hunger Games review coming hopefully sometime in the next several days, so you can look forward to that.  That is, if you have any interest in The Hunger Games.  Otherwise, you can feel very indifferent.