So, this evening I watched the movie Dan In Real Life. I had it on my Netflix queue, because a bunch of people said it was great, and as a general rule I love everything with Steve Carell. I wasn't super psyched to see it, but my queue got all out of order, so there it was. Anyway, those of you that follow me on twitter may have noticed that I had a somewhat negative reaction* to it.
*Understatement.
This movie gave me a similar awful, rage-filled reaction that I've experienced a few times before, when it comes to movies, and I think I may have finally pinpointed what the issue is, and how it pertains to my life.
I hate, HATE, in movies when the protagonist is having a hard time, is struggling with dealing with various things that are going on in their life, and every other character tells them to basically get over it, they don't really have any real problems, they're over-reacting, etc. Basically, everyone just shits all over this person's feelings, and tries to make them feel like an incompetent child that doesn't know how to feel feelings correctly.
The first reaction time I ever experienced this in a movie was in 27 Dresses. A pretty innocuous film, for the most part. But you may remember the part where Katherine Heigl's sister, who is getting married, has their dead mother's wedding dress cut to bits to add here and there on her own stupid wedding dress (which she intends to wear to marry George, Katherine's years-long crush, but whatever). Cut to the engagement party, or rehearsal dinner, whatever it is, and Katherine puts together a scathing slideshow outing her sister as a tacky liar in front of George, and all of their friends and family. Now, her sister had built her entire relationship with George out of lies, and treated her sister, and really everyone like shit for the entire movie, and then she DESTROYED THEIR MOTHER'S WEDDING DRESS, THAT KATHERINE HEIGL HAD INTENDED TO WEAR AT HER OWN WEDDING. And yet somehow, Katherine's slideshow stunt is, like, the meanest thing anyone's ever seen, and suddenly she's the bad guy. And she ends up apologizing to her sister, and marrying James Marsden who is way cuter anyway, and everyone lives happily ever after.
BUT SERIOUSLY?! I mean, her sister's lies and man-stealing and everything else aside, she cut up her mother's wedding dress, and did not have an inkling of a thought that this might be the wrong thing to do. If I were Katherine Heigl's character, I would have murderered her on the spot. Right in the bridal salon. Strangled her with the mangled remains of my mother's wedding dress. How DARE anyone criticize Katherine Heigl's character for her well-deserved Slideshow of Revenge, after all the shit she had to put up with? The YEARS of people taking advantage of her, walking all over her?
The last time, and probably most powerful negative reaction to a film, was Bridesmaids. I know, I know, greatest/funniest movie anyone's ever seen, blah blah blah. And I don't disagree that there was plenty of hilarity. But....uh....remember all the parts where Kristen Wiig's life is terrible? That was less funny. Now, granted, I brought my own Emotional Maid-of-Honor Baggage to this movie, and also took issue with the fact that Kristen Wiig's life is terrible, and yet she is SLEEPING WITH JOHN HAMM and DATING ADORABLE INEXPLICABLY IRISH POLICEMEN, and I have never done either of those things, so I'm just left with the sucky parts of her life. But, for example, when Rose Byrne gives Maya Rudolph the TRIP TO FRANCE FOR JUST THE TWO OF THEM, at the bridal shower? I have seen this movie twice, and the second time, I had to leave the room during this part, and the ensuing shitstorm, because it is so upsetting to me. Not because I love France, though I do. But the idea that that rich bitch would take something she knew was so important to the friendship between these two girls, and steal it away from one of them? Oh my god, if I had been Kristen Wiig's character, that bridal shower would have become a bloodbath. Only the puppies would have survived.
And then she of course flips out and ruins the bridal shower. But prior to that, she did everything she could, despite the fact that she was depressed and miserable and poor and her life was falling apart, to be the best possible maid-of-honor, and make the best possible wedding experience for her best friend. And she screws it up, time and time again, through no fault of her own. And yet NO ONE GIVES A SHIT. After she flips out at the bridal shower, she is an absolute pariah, and only makes up with Maya just before her wedding. Her maid of honor responsibilities were REVOKED from her, by her BEST FRIEND. What a really shitting way of making everything about you, Maya. So, somehow, the fact that everything is supposed to be so fucking hilarious while the main character's life is just one disappointment after the next, and nobody cares, was just horrible to me. Did not make for an enjoyable movie-watching experience.
Finally, Dan In Real Life. Basically, Steve Carell's wife died four years ago, and he is raising their three daughters by himself. They go away for a weekend to his parents' house for a gigantic annual family gathering, and on their first morning there, Steve goes to a bookstore and ends up having a meet cute with a girl that ends up being his brother Dane Cook's girlfriend. So Steve has to spend the rest of the time in agony as they're being all cute to each other, and the rest of the family falls in love with her. She ends up breaking up with Dane Cook and leaving, because of the tension. Then Steve goes to meet her and the family catches them kissing and Steve is suddenly the worst person in the world, and a disappointment to everyone.
The way Steve Carell's entire family treats him throughout this entire movie is absolutely terrible. First of all, his wife died. Four years ago, which is a while, but also not. And he is raising these three girls (GIRLS!) all by himself, which can't be easy. At various points in the movie, his family mocks him for being loveless, encouraging him to "get back out there", set him up on a blind date, but then are horrified to find that he has actually found someone he cares about. Granted, it's not the ideal situation, but it's not like it was his brother's wife, it was his girlfriend. And he resisted his feelings entirely until after they had broken up. But before that, his family was coming down on him for his erratic and cranky behavior. But never once does anyone ask him if he is really okay, how he's feeling, if he's having trouble with the girls, if he needs some help. His wife died, for god's sake! No one is concerned that he could be seriously depressed? They just think he has a bad attitude? That is absolutely horrible.
So I think the theme is pretty clear here. People minimizing or altogether ignoring other people's feelings, depressions, problems, etc, is apparently super upsetting to me. Last year, as I have made obvious through previous blogging, was a really shitty year for me. The worst ever. And I discovered that depression is a real thing, and is way more than just "sad" or "bummed out". I hit some really low lows, and started to get really scared. I even threw out some cries for help, which for the most part met with...nothing. It was always "Oh, you're just PMS-ing", or "You're having a hard time adjusting" or "Just wait until the stress of all these weddings is over, and you'll be fine" or my very favorite, "You're just jealous that everyone's getting married." Now, for the most part, I've always been a pretty happy-go-lucky person. I haven't experienced many real problems or traumas or tragedies in my life, so I haven't had any real experience with depression. It's not that I didn't think it was a real thing exactly, but I thought it happened to people who were much more fragile and weak than me. For the most part, when I am frustrated or upset about something, I keep it inside, because I am not good with confrontation, and because I don't like dumping my issues in everyone else's laps, when I realize that everyone has problems of their own to deal with. So here I was, having some really negative depressive thoughts, and concerned enough about it to actually bring it to people's attention, and basically just got a big ol' "get over it." Which is pretty much the worst thing you can do. Now, eventually I was able to pick myself up, brush myself off, and kind of get back to life. I am doing considerably better now, but seeing as none of the factors that lead to my depression have changed, I realize I am always thisclose to ending up right back there were I was. And what then?
In conclusion, maybe I should just stick to comedies for awhile. No, that apparently doesn't work. Maybe just Disney movies. Or The Hunger Games.
**I should mention, because I feel like I always need to add this, that this is not directed at anyone that reads this blog. I don't want anyone to think I am guilting them over missing my cries for help. It was primarily my family that missed them all.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
So Many Shades of Grey
Hi gang! I know, I know, I have been just terrible at blogging lately. I don't know why. Well, I do, I've been kinda busy. And haven't really had much to say.
Let me first say that I am sorry my last post was so miserable. I have been doing super well at not being miserable, like I was last year. Yet for some reason, I recently hit a week where I was just that same kind of gut-wrenching, inescapably miserable as before. No reason, either. Nothing particularly bad happened, I wasn't pms-ing, yet for some reason, miserable. Anyway, I'm over it now. So that's good.
Secondly, I'm sorry I never reply to anyone's comments on here. It is not because I don't read/appreciate them, but because Blogger for some reason does not want to ALLOW me to reply to anyone's comments. But anyway, to answer the most recent questions, re: the freshly-painted living room...Gretchen and I do some sort of redecorating surprise whenever my parents go on one of their trips, so they did suspect that we would be doing something, but even more so suspected that we would paint the living room, because due to a recent massive wall repair, it desperately needed to be repainted.
Thirdly, I know I have not done a Hunger Games review yet. That is because at first I was too overwhelmed and didn't know how to present my thoughts in a sensible manner. And then I wasn't really interested in blogging. And now too much time as passed and my fiery enthusiasm has dimmed somewhat, making for a less-exciting review. BUT I am planning to re-read the book shortly, which will undoubtedly re-ignite my enthusiasm, and remind me of stuff I loved about the movie. So I'll write up a review then.
Anyway, in current news, my dad had a hip replacement surgery this week. He is doing well, and being a surprisingly good patient. But I think he loves being taken care of. And it makes me happy to be able to sort of shower him with attention, because my mom and I are such drama queens, so we're always whining and making everything about us. This is probably a nice change of pace.
I am, as I am sure I have mentioned before, hungry to get back out to Rochester. I applied to a slew of Rochester jobs this weekend, so hopefully one of them will be fruitful. Hopefully hopefully hopefully. I really go through phases of just desperately daydreaming about living in Rochester. Having a cute little apartment, hanging out with friends, going out to eat, seeing movies, etc etc. As cheesy as it sounds, I'm ready to start living my life again. I'm stuck on pause right now, and ready to move on. Be a grown-up.
Hey, you know what I have to talk about? This whole 50 Shades of Grey business. I was initially indifferent to it, aside from being slightly amused that it was getting so much attention for being an erotic novel, when I imagine this is probably not the first erotic novel that has ever been written. AND THEN I found out that it was actually a Twilight fanfiction story that the author changed the names and got published as a real book. Then the whole sensation became hilarious. I supported Jhole as she bought it during our shhopping trip, sure it would be right up her alley. But since then, I am just sick of hearing about it. My sister and her friends are reading it, and my mom wants to read it, all of which makes me super uncomfortable. But also, it doesn't even sound interesting to me! I mean, I consider myself a fanfiction connoisseur, and if we're going to turn fanfiction into real live books, this would not be my first choice! Nowhere near my first choice! I mean, I can't say, because I haven't actually READ the book, but just the concept of the innocent, virginal college girl, entering into this contractual sexual relationship with this cold, calculating businessman, who is a bajillionaire in his mid-20s, makes me roll my eyes. It just seems super dumb and it makes me mad that it's so popular. But it pretty much figures that I would froth at the mouth over teen wizards, and be totally disinterested in bondage. Sigh. I am a female Peter Pan.
Finally, who wants to hear the ridiculous dream I had last night? Everyone? Okay!
So I still lived in Rochester, and worked at StoreSmart. I heard that at another building in Metro Park, there was some sort of American Idol event going on, and all of this season's contestants were there. Well, naturally, I just left work in the middle of the day to check this out. So I made my way over there, and there were just a whole bunch of people casually milling about, the Idols among them. i just had to find them. I somehow made it my mission to find Colton Dixon to tell him how shocked and disappointed I was that he was eliminated , and that he was my pick to win. [Ed. Note: Not my favorite contestant, and not the one I thought should win, but the one I thought would win. Now I am thrown for a loop.] I ran into several contestants I didn't really care about, on my quest to find Colton, but then I found Phillip Phillips [Ed Note: ...who I LOVE! OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Really. It's taken me by complete surprise. I mean, he has the same name, twice. But, ugh. Can't get enough.] So, even though I loved Phillip Phillips just as much in my dream as I do in real life, I was distracted by my quest for Colton, and didn't expect to run into Phillip, and had no idea what to say. So, for a moment, I just stared at him blankly, but then managed to get out something about how I loved him and thought he was great. And he was very nice about it, and smiley, and flannel-y, and surprising TALL, which is a huge turn-on, so it was all in all wonderful. After a brief visit with Phillip x 2 + s, I continued on my quest for Colton, who I did end up finding, and made a very dramatic and public declaration about the injustice of his premature elimination. He seemed...taken aback, but pleased. I am overwhelming sometimes.
Part two of the dream, I was at actor and Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson's house. His parents' house, to be exact. It was a really big mid-nineties-style house, and it was just me, JHutch, and a bunch of my Rochester and Fisher people. We were apparently having some sort of party for the American Idol finale [Ed. Note: The idea of any of my friends actually agreeing to attend an American idol-themed party is actually the least-realistic thing that happened in this dream.] and there were food and drinks and general merriment. We were watching Idol on a giant TV in the living room, and I excused myself during a commercial break to take a tinkle in the bathroom just off the living room. I go about my business and flush, but instead of flushing, the toilet starts overflowing like crazy. So I come out of the bathroom, already embarrassed about overflowing someone's toilet, because everyone will thing I took a massive poop, but additionally mortified because I had to tell Actor and Star of The Hunger Games Josh Hutcherson, who I had only recently befriended, that I had overflowed his toilet. But I did so. Much to my surprise, he starts flipping out in front of everybody, about how he has been so busy with all of these movies and promoting The Hunger Games, and he has been looking forward to relaxing at home with friends, but instead he has to spend the whole night cleaning up other people's messes. I don't remember anything after this, so the sheer horror of it probably roused me from sleep.
So, what we've learned, is that while other people are always having super-erotic sexy dreams about celebrities, I dream about geeking out in front of them, startling them, and overflowing their toilets. Why does my subconscious hate me? Here's hoping some hotter dreams come my way tonight.
Let me first say that I am sorry my last post was so miserable. I have been doing super well at not being miserable, like I was last year. Yet for some reason, I recently hit a week where I was just that same kind of gut-wrenching, inescapably miserable as before. No reason, either. Nothing particularly bad happened, I wasn't pms-ing, yet for some reason, miserable. Anyway, I'm over it now. So that's good.
Secondly, I'm sorry I never reply to anyone's comments on here. It is not because I don't read/appreciate them, but because Blogger for some reason does not want to ALLOW me to reply to anyone's comments. But anyway, to answer the most recent questions, re: the freshly-painted living room...Gretchen and I do some sort of redecorating surprise whenever my parents go on one of their trips, so they did suspect that we would be doing something, but even more so suspected that we would paint the living room, because due to a recent massive wall repair, it desperately needed to be repainted.
Thirdly, I know I have not done a Hunger Games review yet. That is because at first I was too overwhelmed and didn't know how to present my thoughts in a sensible manner. And then I wasn't really interested in blogging. And now too much time as passed and my fiery enthusiasm has dimmed somewhat, making for a less-exciting review. BUT I am planning to re-read the book shortly, which will undoubtedly re-ignite my enthusiasm, and remind me of stuff I loved about the movie. So I'll write up a review then.
Anyway, in current news, my dad had a hip replacement surgery this week. He is doing well, and being a surprisingly good patient. But I think he loves being taken care of. And it makes me happy to be able to sort of shower him with attention, because my mom and I are such drama queens, so we're always whining and making everything about us. This is probably a nice change of pace.
I am, as I am sure I have mentioned before, hungry to get back out to Rochester. I applied to a slew of Rochester jobs this weekend, so hopefully one of them will be fruitful. Hopefully hopefully hopefully. I really go through phases of just desperately daydreaming about living in Rochester. Having a cute little apartment, hanging out with friends, going out to eat, seeing movies, etc etc. As cheesy as it sounds, I'm ready to start living my life again. I'm stuck on pause right now, and ready to move on. Be a grown-up.
Hey, you know what I have to talk about? This whole 50 Shades of Grey business. I was initially indifferent to it, aside from being slightly amused that it was getting so much attention for being an erotic novel, when I imagine this is probably not the first erotic novel that has ever been written. AND THEN I found out that it was actually a Twilight fanfiction story that the author changed the names and got published as a real book. Then the whole sensation became hilarious. I supported Jhole as she bought it during our shhopping trip, sure it would be right up her alley. But since then, I am just sick of hearing about it. My sister and her friends are reading it, and my mom wants to read it, all of which makes me super uncomfortable. But also, it doesn't even sound interesting to me! I mean, I consider myself a fanfiction connoisseur, and if we're going to turn fanfiction into real live books, this would not be my first choice! Nowhere near my first choice! I mean, I can't say, because I haven't actually READ the book, but just the concept of the innocent, virginal college girl, entering into this contractual sexual relationship with this cold, calculating businessman, who is a bajillionaire in his mid-20s, makes me roll my eyes. It just seems super dumb and it makes me mad that it's so popular. But it pretty much figures that I would froth at the mouth over teen wizards, and be totally disinterested in bondage. Sigh. I am a female Peter Pan.
Finally, who wants to hear the ridiculous dream I had last night? Everyone? Okay!
So I still lived in Rochester, and worked at StoreSmart. I heard that at another building in Metro Park, there was some sort of American Idol event going on, and all of this season's contestants were there. Well, naturally, I just left work in the middle of the day to check this out. So I made my way over there, and there were just a whole bunch of people casually milling about, the Idols among them. i just had to find them. I somehow made it my mission to find Colton Dixon to tell him how shocked and disappointed I was that he was eliminated , and that he was my pick to win. [Ed. Note: Not my favorite contestant, and not the one I thought should win, but the one I thought would win. Now I am thrown for a loop.] I ran into several contestants I didn't really care about, on my quest to find Colton, but then I found Phillip Phillips [Ed Note: ...who I LOVE! OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Really. It's taken me by complete surprise. I mean, he has the same name, twice. But, ugh. Can't get enough.] So, even though I loved Phillip Phillips just as much in my dream as I do in real life, I was distracted by my quest for Colton, and didn't expect to run into Phillip, and had no idea what to say. So, for a moment, I just stared at him blankly, but then managed to get out something about how I loved him and thought he was great. And he was very nice about it, and smiley, and flannel-y, and surprising TALL, which is a huge turn-on, so it was all in all wonderful. After a brief visit with Phillip x 2 + s, I continued on my quest for Colton, who I did end up finding, and made a very dramatic and public declaration about the injustice of his premature elimination. He seemed...taken aback, but pleased. I am overwhelming sometimes.
Part two of the dream, I was at actor and Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson's house. His parents' house, to be exact. It was a really big mid-nineties-style house, and it was just me, JHutch, and a bunch of my Rochester and Fisher people. We were apparently having some sort of party for the American Idol finale [Ed. Note: The idea of any of my friends actually agreeing to attend an American idol-themed party is actually the least-realistic thing that happened in this dream.] and there were food and drinks and general merriment. We were watching Idol on a giant TV in the living room, and I excused myself during a commercial break to take a tinkle in the bathroom just off the living room. I go about my business and flush, but instead of flushing, the toilet starts overflowing like crazy. So I come out of the bathroom, already embarrassed about overflowing someone's toilet, because everyone will thing I took a massive poop, but additionally mortified because I had to tell Actor and Star of The Hunger Games Josh Hutcherson, who I had only recently befriended, that I had overflowed his toilet. But I did so. Much to my surprise, he starts flipping out in front of everybody, about how he has been so busy with all of these movies and promoting The Hunger Games, and he has been looking forward to relaxing at home with friends, but instead he has to spend the whole night cleaning up other people's messes. I don't remember anything after this, so the sheer horror of it probably roused me from sleep.
So, what we've learned, is that while other people are always having super-erotic sexy dreams about celebrities, I dream about geeking out in front of them, startling them, and overflowing their toilets. Why does my subconscious hate me? Here's hoping some hotter dreams come my way tonight.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Here I Am
Here I am, blogging. Apparently you all have missed me, as I keep being reminded that I have not been updating. Although I don't really think it's fair to chastise me for not updating MY blog, because when's the last time any of you updated your blogs, OH THAT'S RIGHT YOU DON'T HAVE ONE. Except for one of you (LEAH.) who hasn't updated your blog in the year 2012. So I'll just go ahead and take as long as i want to update. HA!
I unfortunately don't really have much to say at the moment. I have been oddly busy, in that special way only i have of doing absolutely nothing with my life, yet somehow having no time to do ANYTHING. Whatever. Specifically, this week, my parents are vacationing in Portugal (wtf?!), and Gretchen and I are doing some work around the house, specifically painting our giant-ass living room. In my mind, it is possible to paint an entire room in one day, but in actual practice, this is not at all possible. IT has taken SO LONG, but the room looks really good now. Hopefully my parents don't hate it.
I am also currently at war with technology. My blackberry seems to want to stop living, and my computer is working very sporadically. The phone difficulties are not helping the fact that I am hands down the worst phone call and text receiver and/or returner. Don't think I am not aware of this. I always miss everyone's phone calls. I say I will call people back, and then completely forget. In fact, writing this has reminded me that I was supposed to call someone this weekend, and did not. Fuck. You know what? I'm ready for phone calls to be a thing of the past. I am just sooooo tired of apologizing for missing phone calls. I'm so tired of having to return phone calls from people that I'm not even interested in talking to. I have never ever liked talking on the phone, with very few exceptions.
It is particularly trying, this past year or so, in which I am feeling particularly dissatisfied with my life, to have to carry on phone conversations with everyone about their marriage, engagement, new baby, great job, cool social life, vacation, house hunting, etc etc. I have nothing of any interest to add, but I try to hard to make it a not one-sided conversation, and to make my life sound interesting, and fail. I used to be able to fall back on all things pop culture, but I'm just not as cool and current and hip to those things any more, so I don't have quite so much to add. The music everyone else is listening to, I haven't heard, and the tv shows everyone else loves, I don't like. So give me a year or so, and hopefully things will turn around in my life a little bit, and I will be more enthusiastic about phone-talking. And maybe I'll learn to be better about intercepting phone calls as well.
Also, I am aware that not wanting to talk on the phone because my life sucks makes me super selfish. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm sorry I went on a rant there, again. I swear 2012 is the year of me being less miserable and mostly succeeding at it, so don't worry, this isn't going to turn into a bitchy self-hating wrist-cutting blog again. I just so happy to be very sleepy right now.
Aaaaaanywho, I am drafting a big ol' Hunger Games review coming hopefully sometime in the next several days, so you can look forward to that. That is, if you have any interest in The Hunger Games. Otherwise, you can feel very indifferent.
I unfortunately don't really have much to say at the moment. I have been oddly busy, in that special way only i have of doing absolutely nothing with my life, yet somehow having no time to do ANYTHING. Whatever. Specifically, this week, my parents are vacationing in Portugal (wtf?!), and Gretchen and I are doing some work around the house, specifically painting our giant-ass living room. In my mind, it is possible to paint an entire room in one day, but in actual practice, this is not at all possible. IT has taken SO LONG, but the room looks really good now. Hopefully my parents don't hate it.
I am also currently at war with technology. My blackberry seems to want to stop living, and my computer is working very sporadically. The phone difficulties are not helping the fact that I am hands down the worst phone call and text receiver and/or returner. Don't think I am not aware of this. I always miss everyone's phone calls. I say I will call people back, and then completely forget. In fact, writing this has reminded me that I was supposed to call someone this weekend, and did not. Fuck. You know what? I'm ready for phone calls to be a thing of the past. I am just sooooo tired of apologizing for missing phone calls. I'm so tired of having to return phone calls from people that I'm not even interested in talking to. I have never ever liked talking on the phone, with very few exceptions.
It is particularly trying, this past year or so, in which I am feeling particularly dissatisfied with my life, to have to carry on phone conversations with everyone about their marriage, engagement, new baby, great job, cool social life, vacation, house hunting, etc etc. I have nothing of any interest to add, but I try to hard to make it a not one-sided conversation, and to make my life sound interesting, and fail. I used to be able to fall back on all things pop culture, but I'm just not as cool and current and hip to those things any more, so I don't have quite so much to add. The music everyone else is listening to, I haven't heard, and the tv shows everyone else loves, I don't like. So give me a year or so, and hopefully things will turn around in my life a little bit, and I will be more enthusiastic about phone-talking. And maybe I'll learn to be better about intercepting phone calls as well.
Also, I am aware that not wanting to talk on the phone because my life sucks makes me super selfish. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm sorry I went on a rant there, again. I swear 2012 is the year of me being less miserable and mostly succeeding at it, so don't worry, this isn't going to turn into a bitchy self-hating wrist-cutting blog again. I just so happy to be very sleepy right now.
Aaaaaanywho, I am drafting a big ol' Hunger Games review coming hopefully sometime in the next several days, so you can look forward to that. That is, if you have any interest in The Hunger Games. Otherwise, you can feel very indifferent.
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