Well, well, well. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: Electric Boogaloo has come and gone, and I am still alive and well. And without embarrassing myself in a public place, surprisingly.
I've seen the movie thrice already, (THRICE! That was for you Conan. I'm sure you read my blog.) Three times. I have...lots to say about it, but I don't want to go into great detail, thus creating the longest blog post ever. And I've had some lengthy ones. So I will limit it to a brief list of likes and dislikes. Because I know you value my opinion.
THIS IS THE PART WHERE YOU STOP READING IF YOU HAVE NOT YET SEEN THE MOVIE! I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU BEING SPOILED. NOT LIKE YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOKS. BUT STILL. IF YOU, IN FACT, HAVE NOT READ THE BOOKS, THEN I...I JUST...I DON'T KNOW. YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO RESPECT FOR YOURSELF.
Ahem. Anyway...
First of all, it should be noted that the first time I saw it, I was actively crying for about 45 minutes. And by actively crying, I don't mean on-and-off, crying and then forgetting about it, and then crying again before the previous tears are quite dried. I'm talking tears tears tears, and trying so hard to hold in audible sobs that it feels like I have a rock in my throat. Painful stuff, guys. Let's just say I started crying at Snape's "You have your mother's eyes.", through to Hagrid's anguished "Harry, no! What are you doing here, etc etc" in the Forbidden Forest.
Each time I saw it after that, I still cried...a lot...but not quite as much.
LIKES:
1) Snape - The whole Snape story, told through the pensieve, was just incredible. It must first be said that Alan Rickman did an absolutely incredible job of smashing my heart into bits. He's been an absolute spot-on Snape from the very beginning, but he had to show the most range in this movie. Starting out with his dying moments with Harry, and then the montage of memories through the pensieve, I just want him to award him the wizarding-world equivalent of an Oscar. The thing is, I was never a huge fan of that sequence in the book, I felt like it was just a lot of blah blah blah when I wanted to get back to Hogwarts to see what was up. But I hands-down thought it was the highlight of the movie. As for his memories, I thought the filmmakers made some great choices in choosing to add some things in that aren't there in the books. First of all, I don't think Snape finds James and (most importantly) Lily's bodies in Godric's Hollow in the books, but when he reached Harry's room and found Lily's body, and just broke down? I am having palpitations just thinking about it. And the patronus thing in Dumbledore's office? Pssssh, heart-wrenching. But what I noticed in later viewings, is that John Williams' score for the pensieve sequence is incredible. Sets the tone perfectly. No surprise, since, as someone recently tweeted, John Williams is the Beatles of movies. Well done all around. Tear.
2) Hot Neville - I'm sorry, but who doesn't love Neville Longbottom? If you don't love Neville, then you are obviously an evil nasty person, and I don't want to be friends with you. I am a notorious supporter of the underdog, and I'd wager there is no greater underdog in history than Neville Longbottom. You can't help but root for him. And what a pleasant surprise that Matt Lewis got super hot just in time for this last movie! Great timing, my friend. When Arianna's picture/doorway opened and he was all dirty and sweater-y and smiley, and still so awkward, my heart and ovaries sang with joy. I thought he was just as awesome and badass as the books set him up to be, and the moviemakers were even kind enough to include a lot of bonus Neville time that isn't in the book, which I didn't hate. Loved the silly bridge taunting, the monologuing for Voldemort I could have done without (I'm with you Seamus). But most importantly, he killed the snake, which, I was worried he wouldn't, since they were setting up Hermione, then Harry, then Ron to do it. And then he was making a weird face when he finally did. But I don't care, that's his shining moment, and I'm glad the filmmakers didn't take it away from him. Although I still maintain that Neville should have avenged his parents and killed Bellatrix. An eye for an eye, and all that. We would have been robbed of "Not my daughter, you bitch!", which is admittedly great, but I think it would have been much more satisfying. But I won't make any complaints about JK Rowling's work. Please, she's a goddess.
3) McGonagall - I have always, ALWAYS loved Prof. McGonagall (who I will henceforth call McGoogles), and I was so glad she got in some badassery in the 7th book. I was even more satisfied with DAME Maggie Smith's (They didn't include the Dame in the credits...isn't that, like, a law?) performance in this movie. First of all, she looked fierce. Tim Gunn would have been proud. Secondly, DMS is, like, 100 years old [edit: 76. But she is aging...droopily], and she held her own in a duel with a considerably younger Alan Rickman. Possibly my favorite part of the last book is when she brings the statues to life with the Piertotum Locomotor (?) spell, telling them, "Hogwarts is threatened, man the boundaries, protect us, do your duty to our school!" I love the idea that Hogwarts is so legendary that even the suits of armor would rise up to protect it. And DMS delivers that line perfectly, like she can no longer contain how Scottish she is, and then follows it up with an adorable, "I've always wanted to use that spell." So wonderful.
4) Epilogue - Guys, I really liked the epilogue. I mean, that epilogue is the most horribly fanfiction-y thing JK Rowling's ever written, but as far as how it was portrayed in the movie? I was happy. I thought Old!Harry was great, even DanRad's voice sounded more mature. Old!Ginny was also good, but she's always had those child-bearing hips, just throw some mom clothes on them and BOOM! The future. Old!Hermione had, what, a blazer and a french twist? They didn't even try to age her, she looked the same. And Old!Ron looked the way Rupert Grint will look...tomorrow. Old!Draco was kind of hilarious. And the offspring were all precious. Although hearing "Albus Severus" still makes me cringe.
5) Angst - This is an angsty movie, y'all. In the days leading up to its release, I kept remembering different super-sad things that happen in the book, and panicking that the movie would not do them justice. But for the most part, it did. And then some. I mentioned the Snape part earlier: cry cry cry. And how about Ron's reacting to Fred's death? Sweet Baby Jesus, more crying. Now, I have called Rupert Grint's acting into question plenty of times (though I will always love him forever and ever, and would bear his children no questions asked.), but he delivered big-time in DHpt.1, and in this film, his crying over Fred's body? Killed me. Thank you for giving that scene the crushing sadness it called for. I won't even discuss the resurrection stone sequence in the Forbidden Forest, because, come on now. Even just the destruction of Hogwarts, this mighty symbol of the wizarding world...well done, well done.
6) Hermione's Polyjuice Adventure as Bellatrix - Here's the thing....I love Helena Bonham Carter. I could not be more pleased with the choice of HBC as Bellatrix. She was perfectly delightfully evil. So any scene that she's in, I enjoy. But the Polyjuice sequence was simply brilliant for the following reason: Helena Bonham Carter was doing her best Emma Watson impression. Emma Watson....bless her heart. LOVED her in the first movie, so spot on. But as the movies progressed, she started trying harder to ACT, rather than act. She must have at one time taken an acting class in which someone gave her the stage direction to never look dead-faced onstage or on-camera, to always be reacting to what's going on in the scene. Really chewing the scenery, and all that. Her over-acting is ridiculous, and at times, infuriating. Watch her during any scene in which she is not speaking. Her facial expressions almost look painful. Now, I do love her, and I have to admit she made me proud when it really mattered. BUT back to the matter at hand, HBC had all the right facial expressions, and posturing, and indignation, etc. To me, it looked like a mockery, which was sickly satisfying, because I'm a bitch.
7) Gringotts Dragon - Gringotts was another scene that always kind of bored me in the books, but I enjoyed it in the movie. Particularly the part with the dragon that protects the most important vaults. The poor dragon's been chained up down in that cavern, not seeing the light of day for decades, and trained to expect pain when he hears the Clackers. This is pretty sad in the books, but it was even more upsetting in the movie. The dragon seemed to be struggling for longer in the movie than in the book. In the book, I think they unchain him, and he pretty much takes off flying out of the cavern, through Gringotts, and into the bright sunshine. But in the movie, the dragon was too weak to fly, and pretty much climbed its way out of the cavern, through Gringotts, and onto the roof of the bank. Hermione gives him a little jolt, and he finally takes off with some trouble, taking out much of Hogsmeade in his wake. Not a really great thing that I loved watching, but I thought it was really well done.
8) Chamber of Secrets - In the book, Ron and Hermione just kind of disappear for awhile, while Harry's on the quest for the Lost Diadem, and it's only when they return from the Chamber of Secrets loaded down with basilisk fangs that we find out where they were or what they were doing. But I liked that the movie showed them actually going there, and destroying Hufflepuff's cup (not that you get any sort of backstory on that horcrux, but whatever). Then there was a random Voldemort tidal wave, and they made out. Now, *sigh*. I mean, this was the kiss that we've all been waiting for, and it's was just like "Well, we survived the Dark Lord's Wave, I guess I love you." It was so much better in the book, that it was something Ron said that made Hermione drop all her fangs and dive on him. Come on, that would have been so much better! But I won't complain. I was still happy with it. Babies making babies. But returning to the Chamber of secrets was a good blast from the past from the 2nd movie. Which is something I feel should always be included in finales...I love flashbacks.
DISLIKES:
1) Running short - Arguably the most important movie, and they decided to make it the shortest? Why?! There was so much to include! A lot of people have argued that the movie seemed rushed, and while I didn't feel that way, I would have been happier if it had been as long as the others. And it would have made just as much money. There were things that were in the movie, that they could have spent more time on, and things they didn't include that I wish they had. I understand it's the "sequel" to the first DH movie, and was "allowed" to be shorter, but I'm not sure I would have made the same choice. Granted, if I was directing these movies, they would all last as long as it makes me to read the books.
2) OMGSOINLOVE - So, Ron and Hermione got their kiss. That's great. I've feverishly awaited that moment for long enough, that I was pleased to see it finally happen. However, I was less enthused that they proceeded to carry on what was basically an 8th-grade romance for the rest of the movie. FIRST OF ALL, almost immediately after they got all makey-outing in the COS, Goyle throws a fiendfyre party in the Room of Requirement, and when Draco throws a killing curse at Hermione, Ron screams "THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND!" and charges after him. Um, really Ron? How long were you guys down in that Chamber? Did you have enough time to have the Relationship Discussion? If so, I think maybe you have more pressing issues to attend to. Just because you stuck your tongue in her mouth does not make her your girlfriend. Also, soooooo much hand-holding. So much. I just feel like, in actual life-or-death situations like that, you would not be constantly intertwined with your new bf/gf. You will be able to run faster if you are not holding hands! And it's not just Ron and Hermione who are guilty of this, either. Harry and Ginny, while I love the idea of their relationship, the seriousness of it got on my nerves, even in the books. But in the movie, Ginny is the person most upset by Harry's "death" when they dated for...what, six months? Granted, they pined for each other long after that, but they never saw each other! Of course they ended up being Meant For Each Other, but obviously Ron and Hermione should have been WAY more upset by his "death" (or even showing some emotion would have been great, guys. Emma, now would be the perfect moment for your overacting!) They both looked much more heartbroken by Neville's perceived betrayal, than their best friend's death. Granted, in the movie they knew he was going to confront Voldemort, (Which is not a decision I agree with. Harry purposely didn't tell them in the book, because he knew they'd never let him go alone, and this was something he had to do on his own. And I agree, if they knew he was going to basically sacrifice himself, they never ever would have let him go.) but he's the effing Boy Who Lived, they had to be holding out some hope that he would survive. They can't have been so utterly unsurprised and unaffected by their best friend's death. Then again, now they have each other, so what do they need Harry for? Bitches.
3) Bear Hugs and Sunburns - "Let's finish this Tom, the way it started"...by hugging? And flying through the air, ripping each other's faces off? I don't know what books you've been reading, and what movies you've been watching, but this is unprecedented. I'm certain this hasn't happened before. Trust me, I would have remembered. Let's take a moment to consider this, had it been a real situation. When does it ever make sense to bear hug your mortal enemy and throw yourselves off of a balcony? What could this possibly accomplish? Especially since, yeah, Voldemort can fly, but who's to say he would have chosen to do so at that exact moment? He could have waited until they were about 5 feet from the ground, and then apparated, leaving Harry to fall to his death. Although I guess Harry could have held on and gone to wherever he went. Either way, stupid. It didn't even LOOK cool! It was just so confusing! Like, why are they doing this? This is accomplishing nothing! Then they finally land in the abandoned Hogwarts Courtyard That Has Never Existed Before, (maybe it was hanging out with The Boathouse. Don't get me started in THAT. What the hell do wizards need kayaks for?!), and had their little duel, in front of absolutely no one. In the book, they're duking it out in the Main Hall, in front of everyone else who is still alive, watching in awe. This was a big fucking deal! What the hell else can everyone possibly be doing at this moment, other than paying attention to this battle? Come the fuck outside! So Harry and Voldemort have several very bright and squirty battles, then Neville saves the day and kills the last horcrux, and suddenly, Voldemort is as weak as a baby kitten, and Harry's magic overpowers him almost instantly. And then...he...flakes of into pieces and floats off into the sky? WTF is that?! That has never happened before (aside from when it just happened to Bellatrix, moments ago), and is the least dramatic and kind of weird way to die ever. It just looks like he got a bad sunburn and his skin is peeling. We've all been there. But then Harry runs back to his family and friends and there's a huge glorious celebration because he's vanquished He Who Must Not Be Named and literally saved the wizarding world as we know it, right? No? No, there's no reaction? It's never even mentioned? No one has a word to say about his accomplishment? People are falling all over themselves to hear Slughorn's story of how he got his wand stuck in his robes, but The Boy Who Has Nine Lives doesn't even get so much as a pat on the back for this incredible feat of wizardry? Even Ron and Hermione enter, and you think they're going to have a moment of celebration and pride, but oh, wait, they're boyfriend and girlfried now, and let's not forget that This Is The Single Most Important Thing That Has Happened Today. Nevermind the fact that they are both alive and Voldemort didn't get the chance to pull a Jabba and kidnap Hermione and chain her up in a gold bikini as his sex slave (it's been a long time since I've seen Star Wars, my recollection may be fuzzy), the only thing Hermione will write about in her diary today is that OMG Ron's soooo cute and his lips taste like raspberries and his hair smells good and he is the best boyfriend EVAR.
5) Not Canon! - Theeeere's some stuff that did not happen as it did in the books. I try to be tolerant, but as a super fan who's devoured every page of the books, I notice these things. And each time the director makes the decision to include something in the movie that did not happen in the book, thus cutting even more book-goodness from being included in the movie, it makes me cringe. Over the course of 8 films, there have been choices they've made that I've felt have been blatently wrong, as they are not in keeping with what JK Rowling has represented in the books, like a character doing something that you KNOW they never would have made, from all the additional background and personality info you've gained from reading the books. DH2 was not...too bad. There weren't too many grievous errors. The Harry/Voldemort bear hugging, flying through the air, private battle, flakey sunburn death was probably what I was most upset with. But there are other things that I can name, because I am obsessive, that either weren't included at all, or happened differently. Such as not getting burned by the treasure in Bellatrix's vault, Harry confronting Snape as one of the students assembled in the Great Hall, the Order sauntering through the doors like the cast of Mighty Ducks, McGoogles would NOT have sent the Slytherins to the dungeons, all the underage students were sent home through the passage to Aberforth's, not running mindlessly and annoyingly up and down the stairs, the fiendfyre destroyed the diadem, not a basilisk fang, Hermione was riding on Ron's broom as they escaped from the Room of Requirement because Hermione cannot fly on a broom, "That's the second time we've saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!", did Fred die or is he just sitting down, how did Harry know Lupin had a son, Harry does not obviously tumble out of Hagrid's arms in front of everyone, he's invisible until he confronts Voldemort, OMGWTF fix your wand before destroying the elder wand!, etc. Those are just a few examples.
Phwew. I'll end it there. Guys, I really intended to make this short, and I really dropped the ball. Big surprise. But just imagine how much longer it would have been if I hadn't limited myself!
Anyway, those who's seen the movie, I can't wait to hear your thoughts, those who haven't, go see it now!
