What title could possibly suffice in this situation?

I have been trying for awhile now to come up with the appropriate sentiment to fully encapsulate my feelings on the image you see above, of an ACTUAL COVER OF AN ACTUAL BOOK THAT EXISTS. A sentiment that will appropriately convey just how innappropriately hilarious I find this, and how I so desperately want this as a coffee table book/conversation piece, so much so that I looked it up on Amazon and seriously debated spending the minimum $20 plus shipping & handling it would require to obtain it...and yet I don't want to come off as overly creepy, and have people question why they occasionally read this blog and/or why they are friends with me at all.

AND YET

I just...cannot even imagine what the pages of this book could possibly contain. My initial thought is that you just open it up and it's completely blank, and as you flip through all the blank pages you come to one page in the middle that just has the word "rape." on it. On the other hand, I imagine chapter upon chapter featuring wine cooler proffering, bra-strap bearing, and uncomfortable underage boners.

And beaded curtains, too. Everything about that book cover tells me that there will somehow be a sweet beaded curtain present in any underage-boy wooing situation.

The 70s, man. Wild.

Anyway, now seems like a really innappropriate time to say Happy Easter, but...oh, you know what? Look at that, missed it by like 45 minutes. Dodged a bullet there. Now this post gets to be 100% creepy.

I'm creepy

I want to buy all of these theatres and renovate them to their former glory. Every single one.

And if that's not an attainable goal, I would like to tell scary stories by candlelight on a creepy abandoned stage.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY film a horror movie there.

Also, in Mt. Hope Cemetery in Rochester. The creepiest most wonderful and beautiful place ever.

Sigh. I wish I weren't so creepy. No one will ever love me. Except, perhaps, a ghost.

Random Musings by Colleen

So, I've come to a few conclusions recently, about myself. This is not intended to be a low self-esteem post, because I don't feel low self-esteemy about it, it just some things I've noticed recently.

1) I am not as stylish as I like to think I am. I think I have a good sense of style, in that I know what looks cute, but the execution, actually attempting to assemble some sort of stylish outfit on my body, is just a mess. Every now and again, I do have some success, and I think we can all agree that nothing starts your day off right like having a super cute outfit, and knowing it. So I'm not a complete lost cause.

Also, there's certain situations that I just do not have the right outfit for. For example: going out to bars. I went out this weekend with several girl friends, all of whom looked adorable and stylish. I had put zero effort into my outfit, figuring I was just hanging out with friends. I was wearing jeggings, stretched out in the knees from sitting in that annoying way that jeans have, Uggs, a long-sleeve tie-dyed tshirt, and an ill-fitting white fleece jacket. I know this is not appropriate to wear to bars, but I don't know what is. Help?

Another thing I am not good at? Layering. Some people (i.e. Jenna Bellucci) are so good at layering, and making it look good and so effortless. I cannot layer to save my life. I own so many cardigans, and tshirts, and tank tops, and camis, and yet none of them work together AT ALL. Help?

2) Whatever singing voice I may have ever had back in high school, I do not have anymore. That's not to say I was much of a singer in high school either, but whatever I managed to do back then I cannot do now. It might be in part because my voice is a little bit lower than it was in high school, it might be because I haven't had a good vocal warm-up in...7 years. Anyway, as I was belting/shrieking along to the Rock of Ages soundtrack in the car today, I realized that I am perhaps not destined for Broadway stardom. Beth and Scotty, it's in your hands.

3) As someone who is so socially awkward, I enjoy the rare occasion where I meet someone new, and actually have a successful interaction with them, coming away from it feeling confident that they think I am sufficiently charming and funny. It's a good self-esteem boost. sometimes I am cooler than I give myself credit for. Spread the word, folks.

Pretend this is Facebook for a sec...

Well, it's that time again, folks. Back in my Livejournal days, I used to kill people's friends lists by doing annoying myspace quizzes, because I love to talk about myself. Well, now's the time when I will steal annoying Facebook quizzes and put them on my blog....SO THERE! Because though time as passed, I still just love to talk about myself. Just be glad I'm not raping your news feed daily, like all those other bitches.

01 - your favorite song: Bruce Springsteen - Born to Run
No explanation needed. He's the Boss.

02 - your least favorite song: Miley Cyrus - The Climb
This is probably not my least favorite song, because I hate so many songs and people and things, but was very recently annoying me because someone performed it on Idol. It's no Party in the USA, that's for sure.

03 - a song that makes you happy: Deniece Williams - Let's Hear It For The Boy
Footloose was the most fun musical ever. And I had a big crush on Willard. And this song is great.

04 - a song that makes you sad: Paolo Nutini - Autumn Leaves
Death-related sadness. Great song, though.

05 - a song that reminds you of someone: P Puff Diddy Daddy - Bad Boys 4 Life
I could've chosen any number of songs that make me think of my Leah, but this is one of them. Whenever I hear this song, I think of us skipping our way through the State Fair, the smell of Bloomin Onions in the air. We really are bad boys for life.

06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere: John Mayer - St. Patrick's Day
I listened to a lot of John Mayer's first album when I was in France. I don't know why, you know how some things just catch you at certain times? Well, Room For Squares caught me then. St. Patrick's Day makes me think of sitting in my dorm room at the Universite de Caen after dinner, before drinks, with the windows open, writing in my journal.

07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event: Bowling for Soup - Scotty Doesn't Know
Fisher Players Guys & Dolls Cast Party. Or, more specifically, the ride home. Chris Fanning was on "vocal rest". See also: this.

08 - a song that you know all the words to: O-Town - All Or Nothing
This song has recently come back into my life in a big way, and I just can't deny how much I love it. It is just awesomely bad.

09 - a song that you can dance to: Katy Perry - Firework
Teddi Line Dance '11!

10 - a song that makes you fall asleep: Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
Really any song with really good harmonies. This one's kinda wacky crazy, as she's robot-harmonizing with herself, but still. Soothing.

11 - a song from your favorite band/person: Jason Mraz - After An Afternoon
Speaking of soothing, here's Mr. A-Z himself! Love everything about Jason Mraz, every song, every concert, every everything. This is one of my favs.

12 - a song from a band/ person you hate: Trace Adkins - Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
I had a hard time choosing between this song, and his Brown Chicken Brown Cow song. I decided to go with this one, because not only do I hate Trace Adkins, and this song, but also the phrases "honky tonk" and "badonkadonk". Although it really makes me mad that he had to go and fuck up the Brown Chicken Brown Cow joke. Eff you Trace Adkins.

13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure: NSYNC - Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays
If you listen to this song, and do not feel a smile creep across your face, then you're probably dead inside. Also, the video is juuuuust retarded.

14 - a song that no one would expect you to love: DMX - Who We Be
Except by now I'm sure several of you know of my deep deep worship of the gangsta rap scene. Or something. Anyway, I had Amanda Choquette put this on a mix cd back in high school, and I still love it! Especially singing back up on the chorus!

15 - a song that describes you: Dave Matthews Band - Grey Street

There’s an emptiness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now
It’s more like cold blue ice in her heart
She feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life
She could change everything about her using colors bold and bright
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

16 - a song that you used to love but now hate: Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts
I first fell in love with this song back when someone danced to it on So You Think You Can Dance, and then Christina performed it on the show a few weeks later. But now it is the only song that is every played on every radio station ever. Ack.

17 - a song that you hear often on the radio: Whitesnake - Here I Go Again
Oh hey, wish I had seen this question first. Well, recently, it seems like 90% of the songs I hear on any given radio station are songs from Rock of Ages. It's been like the whole world knew I was finally going to see it, and they wanted to psych me up. And now I have seen it, and it was awesome, and I still keep hearing the songs. This one came on when I was driving home from work today, and I almost swerved off the road in excitement.

18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio: Kris Allen - The Truth
Or really any song by Kris Allen, because hey...remember that time he won American Idol and ADAM LAMBERT DIDN'T?! And yet Lambert gets more airplay. Of course. Even though Kris sold more records. I love this song though, although not so much the version with Pat Monahan. He didn't so much contribute anything to the song. Kriiiiiis I love you. This is also a dedication to all my past Idol loves that have faded away to obscurity: Elliott Yamin, Matt Giraud, Chris Richardson, Lee DeWyze...

19 - a song from your favorite album: Dashboard Confessional - Living In Your Letters
cwdashboard68, baby, hahahaha. I'm not sure I have a favorite album, I'm not good at picking favorites of anything. But this is one of those albums I can listen any time any day and enjoy it. Either 'The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most' or 'MTV Unplugged v 2.0', you decide! Because I can't.

20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry: Linkin Park - One Step Closer
I can't really think of any songs that I listen to when I'm angry now, because I don't really listen to songs when I'm angry, because I don't really get angry, because as we've previously discussed, anger is an emotion that my body does not know how to process. BUT back when I was an angsty teen, there was nothing I used to love more than blasting some Linkin Park on my big bad stereo whenever I was mad about my parents just not understanding me.

21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy: Journey - Don't Stop Believin
This song is just so good. And I hate that it has become SUCH a omnipresent song in current pop culture, because it makes me feel like a poser, but there's no way you can hear this song and not just belt it. And hey, I used to love it before it was all over everywhere, so I'm still cool. And it does have happy pop culture associations for me with Rock of Ages and Glee, so whatever.

22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad: Maria Mena - Sorry
This is a great song, that's all. It's angsty emogirl music, like 75% of the stuff I listen to and try to keep a secret from other people, but I just think this is great, and before I got a new computer, it was the most-played song on my iTunes. 166 times. I hope this doesn't mean I'm sad a lot! I don't think it does, I just really like the song. And when I am sad, I really like to listen to things ON REPEAT!

23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding: George Harrison - What Is Life
Sosososo great, and such a good wedding song. Fell back in love with it on the Away We Go soundtrack. And such a happy song, too. I want it to be my wedding reception intro song. What is my life without your love?

24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral: Rusted Root - Send Me On My Way
I have put Amanda Hackett in charge of music to be played at my funeral, and my biggest request is that this song be played. I'm a big fan of ironic funeral song choices, much like Bye Bye Baby in Love Actually.

25 - a song that makes you laugh: Tenacious D - Fuck Her Gently
I don't know if this actually makes me lol, I couldn't really think of a song that does, but it is such a great song, and it is hilarious. i probably lol'ed the first time I heard it, back in the day.

26 - a song that you can play on an instrument: The Beatles - Hey Jude
The middle school jazz band version, anyway. Yeah sax solo!

27 - a song that you wish you could play/sing: Adele - Someone Like You
This was originally "song you wish you could play", which I didn't like, cause I couldn't really think of anything I wished I could play, so I changed it to sing, and then nothing was really standing out to me either. Mainly I would just love to have a big belty voice to sing a big belty song. But I also love powerful emotional songs, I would love to be able to sing something with feeling behind it, and I think this song is a great example of that.

28 - a song that makes you feel guilty: Blink 182 - All The Small Things
My brother used to be in a band called Charlie's Bughouse. They played mostly older stuff, and cooler stuff, but one song they did play was All The Small Things, which, though it usually got the crowd going, was really a treat for me, because I was in middle school at the time and Blink 182 was the coolest. And every time I was at one of their gigs and they did this song, my brother would look right to me to make sure I was singing along. And it made me feel so cool to have my big brother, lead singer of a band, acknowledge me during his performance. And it was kind of a special little thing that we shared. But I didn't really go to a lot of their gigs, because they were mostly in bars, and not only was I not 21, but it was always really crowded and crowded bars tend to freak me out. After awhile the band went their separate ways, and I always felt bad that I missed so many opportunities to see them. And considering the current situation, I still wish I could go back in time and go to every single gig.

29 - a song from your childhood: Blind Melon - No Rain
My childhood included a lot of early 90s grungy rock, due mostly to the aforementioned older brother. This one was always one of my faves, not only because it's such a great happy catchy song, but let's face it, I was pretty much The Bee Girl when I was little. And if you don't know what I mean by The Bee Girl, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WATCH THIS VIDEO AND LEARN A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE NINETIES! Such a great vid, such a happy wonderful little message. The Bee Girl is still my dream Halloween costume, if only I weren't so afraid that absolutely no one would get it. One day I'll have to celebrate Halloween with the remaining members of Blind Melon.

30 - your favorite song at this time last year: Lee DeWyze - Beast of Burden
I don't really know if this was my FAVORITE song this time last year, but it was a song I enjoyed, kind of around this time last year. I just loved the arrangement, so happy and sunny and summer-y. Which is crazy coming from Idol, who is notorious for dreadful arrangements of classic songs. Not to knock the Stones' version, of course, but this was the song that really ushered in springtime for me.

New York, New York, What a Wonderful Town

I went to New York this weekend. A quick visit, but magical nonetheless. As many times as I have visited the city that never sleeps (which is many), I am never not taken aback by how the city skyline looks as you're approaching the city. Hell, that same skyline was the view from my dormroom window for 2 years, and I still can't get over it.

Taking time away from the city has been good for me. Not that I was directly in the Manhattan-y part of the city, but Staten Island pretty much put a bad taste in my mouth for the big city for several years.

However, I have to say: I would love to live in the city for, like, a summer. Well, maybe actually the winter instead, because I love New York around Christmastime. I would love to spend a few months being in the thick of it, going to shows, and bars, and museums, and not being in a time crunch. I will do all this when I find that disposable income tree. Sigh.

Seriously though, this is yet another example of my life nowadays. It's basically a barren wasteland of mundane boredom, interspersed with the occassional SPARK of heady overwhelming excitement and love of seeing friends. Every single time, I'm in a haze of wonderment after seeing any of my friends, be they from high school or college, for the next 12-24 hours. And then I realize I have to go back to living in Camden and selling stamps.

I wonder, every time after seeing anyone, was I this happy when I was living in Rochester, surrounded by friends? Or frolicking around Fisher, going to musical rehearsal and then out to Jays until 2am? Or sharing a dormroom at Wagner with my very best friend? Or chilling out in the "senior lounge" during double lunch? I mean, I know I was happier when I was in school, because life was much easier then. But last year, living in Rochester with two of my best friends, seeing other friends at least once a week? I don't remember being THIS happy on a regular basis. But was I experiencing the same amount of happiness, spread over weeks and months, rather than jammed into one hectic weekend? Food for thought.

While I was in New York, I finally got to see Rock of Ages. Incredible. Amanda said it was the best thing she's ever seen, and while I feel I'm not quite ready to make a bold statement like that, I will definitely say I have never had so much FUN at a show. If you go see Rock of Ages and don't have a good time, you obviously hate fun and happiness, and I feel sorry for you. I know it's not your typical classy refined musical, but they know how to put on a fucking show! Music = awesome. Script = hilarious. Mitch Jarvis = my hero. I would go see it a million more times. See also: disposable income tree.

In unrelated news, I keep hearing about all these people that are following my blog, and yet the only one that ever seems to comment is Leah. Seriously people, don't creep. If you're going to creep, be open and honest about it. If you know me well enough to be reading my blog, you should also know that no one is creepier than I am. I will never be like, "Why is this person reading my private thoughts?! *weirded out*" I will instead be like, "Oh em gee, I am so excited! I had no idea so-and-so was reading my shiz! *tries to be funnier*" See? Then EVERYONE wins! I get a self-esteem boost, and you get entertained by my new and improved hilariousness. What a treat for you.

Because I Posted The Last One...

...and it just gets better.

Let them eat cake

I just watched Marie Antoinette. It was magnificent.

How is everything that Sofia Coppola does absolutely perfect? It's like she lives inside my mind and splatters the entire contents of of my thoughts and my dreams onto the screen. Absolutely gorgeous.

No one else can make me love or even like Kirsten Dunst the way she does.

Ugggggh I love it. I am officially making this a Sofia Coppola night: next up is The Virgin Suicides.